


The Lockets-A Destiel Soulmate AU

by Pandastuff101



Category: Supernatural
Genre: #destiel, #destielcollege, #destielsoulmates, #soulmates, #supernatural - Freeform, F/F, F/M, M/M, destielau - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-08
Updated: 2017-04-06
Packaged: 2018-09-15 20:47:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 27
Words: 23,076
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9256427
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pandastuff101/pseuds/Pandastuff101
Summary: When you're born, you get a locket. This locket burns when your soulmate is near, and when you touch them for the first time their name gets carved into it. It's not until he was 23 years old when Dean Winchester's locket began to burn.....The FULL story based off of my one-shot, The Lockets





	1. The Kids Are all Right

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading my story!!! As usual, comments are welcome and appreciated. Loves!  
> Always Keep Fighting  
> -Panda

Dean was eight years old that day. He flipped through his comics mindlessly. His chin was propped up on his hand, and he was laying on his stomach. Dean heard his door open, and turned his head slightly so he could see who had entered.

"Hey, mom." he said, smiling at the woman.

She was holding a plate of sandwiches, and Dean sat up eagerly to accept them.

"Thanks!"

Dean's mother ruffled his hair, and kissed his head. She rubbed his back as he wolfed down the sandwiches.

"Danny's mother invited us all to dinner tomorrow. Are you interested?"

Dean nodded, his mouth full.

"Good, I'll tell her we'll-" his mother stood up abruptly, her face full of shock and fear. "DEAN WINCHESTER! WHERE IS YOUR LOCKET?"

"Relax, mom, it's right here." Dean padded across the room to his dresser, and picked up a heart shaped locket made out of silver from the top.

His mother waved a hand and he walked back over to her. She took the necklace from him, and clasped it around his neck. Dean turned back around to face her, and she put a hand on his chin.

"Dean, promise me you won't ever take this off."

Dean shrugged.

"Promise me." his mother's concerned eyes searched Dean's face.

"Okay, mom. I won't do it again."

Relief filled his mother's face, and she hugged Dean tightly. She kissed his head, smiled, and left Dean alone once more. As soon as she had left, Dean quietly closed his door. He raised his necklace from his chest, and stared at it curiously. He turned it over.

As usual, it was blank. As it would be until he found his soulmate.


	2. 99 Problems

Dean tugged his shirt over his head. He sniffed it, and wrinkled his nose. It smelled like sweat and to much alcohol. Dean took one last look at the girl who's bed he had taken to that last night. Her red hair was strewn across her pillow, and she had her arms folded beneath her head. Dean almost felt sorry for her, but he knew what he was doing wasn't exactly uncommon. What were you supposed to do until you found your soulmate?

He stopped quickly at the dresser by the door, and took a necklace with a heart shaped charm out of a tiny glass bowl. Dean felt a little guilty as he clasped it around his neck, but he shook it off. 

Dean left the dorm room as quietly as possible, shutting the door softly but firmly on his way out. Already he could feel a serious hangover coming on.

He padded down the hall, his feet bare except for a pair of thick white socks. Dean carried his shoes in his hands. 

As he began to unlock the door, he thought for a quick, hopeful second that his walk of little-to-no shame was over. But then he heard a door open behind him, and he cursed beneath his breath.

Dean turned, leaving the key in the knob and plastering a smile on his face,

"Charlie! How have you been!" he said cheerfully, greeting the murderous redhead.

"I saw you last night, Dean. At the party, remember? The one that you and what's-her-face, Anna, left together from?"

"Charlie-"

"Save it, Dean." Charlie's eyes flared, and Dean hung his head with shame, "People talk, you know? When you find your soulmate, you won't be able to keep this quiet."

Dean ran a hand through his dirty blond hair, making the bedhead even worse.

"I know, I know. I just thought I could cross that bridge when I got to it." Dean tried to give Charlie an innocent smile, but he couldn't pull it off.

Charlie rolled her eyes.

"Later, Charlie." Dean said, pushing open his door.

As it closed, he heard Charlie shout, "I hope your hangover gives you hell, Winchester!"


	3. Everyone Loves A CLown

As soon as Dean woke up from a quick nap that same morning, his day started on a downward spiral. It was quiet in the room, so Dean decided that his roommate, Kevin Tran, was out with friends. Then he looked at his alarm clock. Kevin wasn't out with friends. He was in class. 

"Shit shit shit! DAMNIT!" Dean swore as he pulled himself out of bed.

There was no time to change, for a shower, or even for breakfast. Dean grabbed his books and ran out of the room. As he bolted down the commons, he ran into a boy with wavy blond hair and whisky eyes. The boy crashed to the ground, choking on the lollipop that had been pushed far back in his throat.

Dean skidded to a halt, and helped the boy up, "I'm so sorry."

The boy wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, and shoved the lollipop back in his mouth, "No problem. I can deep throat." he winked at Dean.

Dean paused for a moment before deciding he didn't have time to think about what the boy was suggesting. 

"I have to go. I'm sorry!" Dean said, peddling backwards.

The boy waved back, and Dean turned around as he began to sprint to class.

By the time Dean reached his class, which was for business, he was half an hour late. He tried to be as quiet as possible as he opened the door, but his teacher heard him.

Without looking away from the whiteboard that he was writing on, the teacher reprimanded Dean. 

"What do I say, Mr. Winchester? If you are thinking about showing up late to my class..."

"Don't show up all." Dean said, scowling at the teacher as his face flushed from embarrassment. 

"Correct. Therefore, why are you even here?" the teacher put down his marker, and turned to face Dean.

"Well, Dick, I couldn't stand the thought of not seeing you're lovely face today."

"We are not on first name tones, Winchester. It's Mr. Roman to you. Show me some respect." Mr. Roman growled, his nostrils flaring. 

"When you deserve it, you scum." Dean muttered.

Apparently not quiet enough, for Mr. Roman's head snapped up. 

"You are lucky I'm not punishing you for this impertinence. All the same, if I see, no, if I even smell that rank odor you call cologne lingering in the halls, I will have you expelled. Leave my class at once." Mr. Roman pointed at the door behind Dean.

Dean, muttering under his breath, slammed the door behind him. He sighed, wondering why he even bothered with college. A minimum of four years in hell, and all you get is a ton of debt and a fancy resume. 

Dean felt his phone vibrate in his pocket, and he fumbled to answer it.

"Hey Charlie, what's wrong?" he said, putting it to his ear.

"You, sir, are in so much trouble. You promised you would call me. I was worried sick!" she hissed.

"I fell asleep. I even missed Dick's class. I literally just got out of being chewed out by him."

"I feel no pity." she grumbled.

"I'm sorry, Charlie. I'll do anything to make it up to you." Dean said eagerly.

He could almost see her smug, self-satisfied smile as she answered, "Anything? Well, I do have a few chores..."

Dean rubbed his face with the palm of his hand, "Charlie..." he groaned.

"It's nothing much," she assured him, "just getting my mail, the new Lord Of The Rings grahic novel because I want to see if it's any good, and some donuts."

"Donuts? That's not a chore, that's a delivery."

"Same thing."

"I'm not getting you donuts."

"Yes you areeeee.....byeeee....." Charlie said, hanging up before he could protest further.

Dean rolled his eyes and started to walk back to his dorm.


	4. Dream A little Dream Of Me

Dean not-so-smoothly parallel parked the Impala and fed the meter with the last of his spare change. He had already gotten Charlie's mail and the milk she needed, so he just had to get her graphic novel and donuts. He locked the car over his shoulder, and began the short walk to the bookstore. He had parked a bit away because all the nearest spots were taken.

As he was walking to the bookstore, he felt a spot on his chest begin to grow uncomfortably hot. Dean placed a hand on it, and jerked back.

"Shit!" he exclaimed, staring at the red mark on his palm.

He dug into his pocket for his phone a pulled it out.

"Charlie? It's Dean. My necklace is burning."

Ten minutes later, as Dean was leaning against a lamp post, someone wrapped their arms around him.

"I'm so excited for you!" shouted the red head.

"Shh!" Dean said, smiling.

"What do we do now? Should we look for them?" Charlie said in an animated whisper.

Dean shook his head.

"I think I should just keep going to the book store. You'll come with me, right?" he pleaded.

She nodded, and threw her arms around Dean again.

"Charlie, calm down."

She laughed and untangled herself from Dean.

"Never! I get a new OTP today."

Dean stomach hurt from the nerves. He wanted to back down and just head home, but he knew he couldn't. The closer they got to the bookstore, the hotter the necklace became.

They walked in, and Den rubbed his hands on his jeans nervously.

The man at the counter looked up at them and smiled.

"Hello! I'm Castiel, how can I-son of a bitch! Sorry!" Castiel wrapped his necklace in his t-shirt, and Dean did the same as his necklace burned his chest through his shirt.

They both looked a little silly, just staring at each other curiously with their shirts halfway up their stomachs.

"Hello. I'm Dean."

Castiel used his free hand to reach over the counter and shake Dean's hand.

The burning stopped, and the necklaces cooled. Simultaneously, Dean and Castiel grabbed for their necklaces.

"Dean." Castiel read in a whisper.

"Cas..."

They looked up at each other, electricity running through their veins.

"Can I buy you some dinner?"

"Sure, of course. I would like that, Dean." Cas said, smiling goofily.

Dean couldn't get over how blue his eyes were. He had never seen such a beautiful pair.  He felt like he could drown in them. Dean never thought having a soulmate would be like this, but as soon as his hand had touched Cas's it was like his world had centered. He had found a purpose in life, one he hadn't realized he was searching for. No one he had ever been with compared to Cas, not even close. 

"My shift ends at six." Cas continued.

Dean nodded, "Great. I'll pick you up here? Is that okay?"

Cas nodded hesitantly, "Well, I don't know. I feel like I should change before I go out somewhere..."

Dean leaned over the counter and fixed the lapel of Cas's blue vest, which was sticking up in the air, "Nah, you're perfect." Dean said truthfully.

Cas blushed furiously.

Out of nowhere, Charlie pushed Dean out of the way. She slammed her book on the counter and reached over the counter to hug Cas tightly, "I'm Charlie, Dean's best friend. Your's now, too. Welcome to the family. Can you process this book real quick, please?" she let go of Cas and patted him on the shoulder.

Cas, who was completely flustered, obliged immediately. Once he had bagged her new graphic novel, Charlie turned around and left the store waving a hand goodbye to the soulmates.

Dean laughed, "See you later, Cas." he said, beginning to follow Charlie.

"Wait!" Cas cried, grabbing Dean's arm.

He took a black sharpie out of a plastic cup and wrote a number on Dean's arm. He grinned, capping the marker and staring into Dean's eyes.

"My number, obviously. You'll need it later." he leaned over the counter and gave Dean a quick kiss on the cheek. They both blushed furiously.

"B-bye Cas." Dean stuttered, wandering out of the shop in a daze. His fingers were pressed lightly to the spot where Cas's lips had been moments before.

He found Charlie waiting for him outside, her nose already stuck in the graphic novel.

"I owe you so many donuts," Dean said wonderingly.


	5. The Kids Are All Right

Dean arrived early for his date. Charlie had insisted on coming, but she stopped him right outside of the bookstore. 

"This is it," she said, fixing the collar of Dean's aviator jacket.

"This is it." he agreed.

He was barely paying any mind to her. Through the window display, Dean could see Cas bagging a customer's items. He watched as Cas thanked her, wished her a good day, and to please come back soon. The corner of Dean's mouth twitched at the sight.

A sudden slap jolted him back to Charlie, and he turned to face her, swearing.

"Son of a bitch!"

"Pay attention." she insisted, "You've met your soulmate. Everything changes from here on out."

"Way to keep the pressure off..." Dean muttered under his breath.

"No sex tonight. Don't say the 'L' word to soon, and no greasy food. Talk about Cas, ask him about himself. Show him that he's important to you."

"He is," Dean agreed.

The lady who Cas had been helping pushed passed them, and Cas' gaze followed her out. He caught sight of Charlie and Dean, and his face lit up in a smile.

Charlie saw him notice them, and gave Dean a pat on the back. Well, more like a shove.

"Go get 'em, tiger." she said encouragingly, "remember: up on the sweet, don't touch the cheek." 

Dean scowled at her, his face flushing at the thought. She winked, and bolted off down the street. Dean sighed as he watched Charlie go, her red hair flying behind her like the trail of a comet.

Dean took a deep breath, and walked into the store. Cas waved from behind the counter, and Dean's heart swelled at the precious sight of him in his too-large work vest. Dean grinned.

"Hey there, Sunshine. Ready to go?"

Cas opened the register and took out a chain of keys. He shook them slightly, and they rattled.

"I just have to lock up real quick."

Dean nodded, and walked with Cas outside the store. Cas locked the glass door quickly, and rubbed his arms. He turned to Dean, smiling.

"Okay, I'm ready."

Dean shrugged off his jacket as the man spoke, and draped it on his shoulders. Cas reached up and touched it softly.

"I'm okay, Dean, really." he protested. 

Dean shrugged, and put his arm around his soulmate's shoulders. 

"It's no big deal. My car's down here, c'mon." he said, brushing it off.

Dean led Cas down the street to where he had parked. Cas nodded appreciably as he climbed in.

"Nice. What's the model?"

Dean patted his car's dash fondly, "1967 Chevy Impala. I got it from my old man when I went off to college." 

Cas raised his eyebrows, "What college do you attend?"

"University of Kansas. Do you go anywhere?"

Cas smiled, "Yes, actually, I go to KU also."

Dean chuckled at the thought that they went to the same college, but had never passed within the mile needed for their necklaces to burn. How strangely things worked, sometimes. 

"What are you going for?" Dean asked, beginning to pull out of the spot.

"I am going to be a lawyer." Cas said. Dean couldn't help but smile every time the low, gravelly sound escaped the man's lips.

"My brother's studying to be one, too. But the nerd goes to Stanford, in California." Dean snorted his disapproval, but pride shone out of his eyes.

"You...miss him." the other man observed.

Dean sighed, "Of course. He's my brother, and I hardly get to see him. But he's happy, Sammy's got a girl and everything."

"And what is your dream, Dean?" questioned Cas.

Dean took his eyes off of the road just quick enough to spare the man a smile, "It sounds stupid, but I love working with cars. I want to open my own shop."

Cas smiled, "That sounds like a nice plan, to do what you really love."

They drove a little ways longer, until they had reached the middle of a grassy field. The type Kansas was known for. Dean parked, and turned off the car. He took a moment to appreciate the soothing call of the cicadas. He smiled at Cas, almost shyly.

"Ready?"

The man nodded, and they climbed out of the car. Dean grabbed a blanket and two beers out of the trunk, and found Cas standing at the front of the Impala. He was staring up at the stars appreciatively. 

"It's nice, isn't it?" Dean said, sitting on Baby's hood. 

Cas sat next to him, accepting the proffered beer. He sipped it slowly.

"Do you come here often?"

Dean shook his head sadly, "I used to come every free weekend with Sam. Now he's off at Stanford, and I am too busy most of the time to come down. It's never the same without someone there, anyways." he smiled at Cas.

They sat in silence, letting the cicadas and crickets do the talking for them. They ended up laying on the blanket Dean had brought, Cas head between Dean's head and shoulder, and their legs tangled in front of them. They were like two puzzle pieces, how well they fit together. Dean was struck by how true that thought was: Cas really was his missing piece, and they a puzzle created by...

Dean wasn't sure. God, maybe? A higher force, no doubt. One who's existence Dean still questions. But there was no doubt, as Cas' pressed a kiss to the hollow of Dean's neck and intwined their fingers, that his soulmate was a miracle.

A perfect miracle, just for him.


	6. Goodbye Stranger

Dean, as per his usual routine, drove down to the Book Shop after his classes were all finished. He picked up a single rose for Cas at a nearby flower shop, and two coffees. Cas always blushed when he saw the roses, and tried to insist that they were expensive. He didn't need roses to know how Dean felt. The blond always just laughed it off and kissed Cas.

He didn't stay for the entirety of Cas' shift, since that ended at six and Dean usually arrived around four or so. 

Dean walked into the shop with a smile, and Cas looked up from the customer he was helping to grin at him. He bagged her items, quickly but not inefficiently. 

She thanked him, eyeing Dean warily. He gave her a confused look in turn as he took her place at the counter, handing Cas his rose with a flourish.

As usual, he blushed, "Dean, how many times do I have to say this isn't necessary?"

Dean took Cas' hand in his own and rested them on the counter. The women, who had been watching the interaction, gave a gurgle of disgust from the back of her throat.

"Fags." she spat under her breath.

Without looking at her, Dean shot back a just as hate filled, "Get a life."

The women looked affronted, and left the store with a dramatic turn on her heel. Dean watched her progress down the street, before turning back to Cas with a shake of his head.

"Some people...do they think we forced the soulmate thing!? It's the same all around!" Dean said heatedly, "Fuck! Fuck them! It's not right Cas!"

Cas put a hand on Dean's arm to sooth them, "It's okay, Dean. They can't do anything."

Dean was quiet as he seemed to memorize Cas' face, as if to put it away under lock and key where no one could ever find it and take it away from him.

"Yes, they can Angel. They do. All those hate crimes, people beating and abusing their children for being gay, others beating LGBTs half to death in the streets." Dean shook his head, and squeezed Cas' hand.

The lady was out of sight by now, and they were alone in the store.

"I didn't think about it that much before I met you, or even before now but I'm scared Cas. I don't want them to hurt you."

"They won't." Cas assured him.

"How can you know that?" Dean said, desperately wanting him to be right and to put his worries to rest.

Cas gave him a sad smile, "I know you're not religious, but I have faith, Dean."

He played with his rose, rubbing the soft petals gently. Cas brought it up to his lips and kissed it softly.


	7. No Exit

It wasn't long until Dean got the call he had been half dreading, and half looking forward to. Cas and Dean had been dating for almost a month, now, but it was still kind of quiet. Neither of them had a vast friend group, so the word just didn't spread. There was no reason for it to, anyways. 

Dean and Cas knew what they were, who else needed to?

Except for Charlie, she was important. And deadly when forgotten.

Dean was with Cas at a coffee shop when the call happened. He rolled his eyes at Cas, who gave him a knowing look. Dean had explained the call to Cas.

He pressed the green talk button, and put the phone to his ear.

"Hey, Sammy. How is it at Satanford?"

Dean could almost hear Sam rolled his eyes, and he winked at Cas as the man snorted into his coffee.

"It's good...how's it there? With your new soulmate?"

Dean actually laughed, then, and he heard Sam's puff of annoyance over the phone.

"Charlie finally broke and posted something on Facebook, then?"

"Uh, yeah, Dean, she did. It would have been nice to hear it from you, though."

"I'm sorry, Sammy, I just didn't want to distract you from everything. I know you have a lot going on with law school and stuff."

Sam sighed over the phone, "Dean, I always have time for you. We're brothers. Besides, I need a break from school for a while. Is it cool if I come over there and meet him?"

"That be great, Sammy."

"What's his name, anyways?"

Dean smiled, and took his soul mate's hand across the table. Cas took a sip of his frozen coffee, raising an eyebrow in curiosity.

"His name is Castiel. I think you'll really like him, Sam."

"I'm sure. I have to go now, Dean. Next time something happens, call me." he insisted.

"I will. See you soon."

Dean hung up, and inclined his head towards the door. They paid and left the shop, walking to nowhere in particular.

"I get to meet Sam?" asked Cas, even though he sounded sure of the answer.

"Yeah. He's going to swing by sometime soon, and stay a week or so. Which is a lot for him."

Cas nodded, "I'm glad. You talk about him a lot, it would be nice to know you're first boyfriend." he grinned at Dean, who stared at him in horror.

"Cas! That's disgusting! No! No!"

Cas laughed, and put his arm around Dean's waist.

"I'm just joking, Dean. The bond is brotherly platonic, I understand."

Dean grunted, still disgruntled.

"Damn right it is. Disgusting, Cas."


	8. We Need To Talk About Kevin

It was eight o'clock the next day when Dean heard a knock on the door to his dorm. He smiled to himself, and got up from his bed to answer it.

"Hey, Cas." he said, immediately reaching forward to hug his soulmate. He could feel Cas smiling against his neck.

"Hello, Dean."

Dean released him and ushered Cas into the dorm room.

"Kevin's on a blind date, set up by Charlie. She say's she's a girl name Channing or something." Dean said as they sat down on his bed.

"Charlie did well. Channing is a good match for Kevin, very likely his soulmate. She's very sweet and smart, like him."

Dean brought out his computer, and waited as Cas laid against his chest. He then put it in Cas' lap, so they could both see the screen. 

"I'm still not sure about this movie." Cas said doubtfully, doing as Dean instructed and opening Netflix.

Dean shrugged and put his arms around Cas loosely, "Shane is a classic. You'll see."

Cas sighed and pressed himself closer to Dean as the movie began. He tried to seem interested, but mostly he just watched Dean mouth the words to almost every line. The movie, Cas found, was boring. The action didn't start until the last thirty minutes, not really. When it did, Dean cocked his hand and pretended it was a gun so he was shooting with the heros. Cas grinned at his silly antics, and kissed his cheek. 

The movie ended, with that shot of Shane riding off into the evening and Cas closed the computer's lid.

"Did you like it?" Dean asked eagerly.

Cas fiddled with his shirt collar. He had come right from work, so he was still wearing the blue vest.

"Well, it was a....classic." he tried.

"You didn't like it?" Dean said, disappointed.

Cas shook his head sadly. He turned over, so he was still lying on top of Dean but he could see him, "I'm sorry."

Dean's eyes wandered around Cas' face. He gently grabbed Cas' necklace, and pulled Cas closer to him with it. Dean kissed him softly.

"Don't be." he said, and kissed him again, his hands sliding down to Cas' back.

Cas fumbled for a moment, and successfully pushed the computer out of their way. He then returned his attention back to Dean, letting his hands and lips roam. 

Hands in Dean's hair, lips on his. Mouth leaving traces of kisses on Dean's collarbone, and hands slipping under his shirt to rest on Dean's warm stomach. Dean moaned softly, and Cas grinned as he kissed him yet again.

The lights suddenly turned on, and somebody yelped.

"GEEZ! Damnit! Dean you said I wouldn't have to worry about this!" Kevin cried, blocking the doorway so the person behind him couldn't see inside, "We have company!"

A pretty girl with a round face and long, dark hair stepped around Kevin. She waved, "I'm Channing, Kevin's soulmate." 

Dean and Cas sat up, and Cas all but hid himself in Dean's side. His face was flushed red, and he couldn't bring himself to meet Channing's eyes. He was acutely aware of how ruffled they both were, and he tried to smooth down the hair Dean had tangled up. 

"I'm Dean, and this is Cas." Dean put his arm around his shoulders and hugged him close. Cas smiled weakly at Kevin's soulmate.

Kevin Tran did not look happy to be introducing her like this, but Channing seemed alright.

There was the sound of someone walking down the hallway, and Charlie poked her head into the room.

"Hey, you two. How did the date go?" she asked, ignoring Dean and Cas.

Channing showed Charlie her necklace, and the name now carved into it. Charlie hugged and congratulated them both, before finally acknowledging the couple on the bed.

"Dean, your fly is down. Nice job, Cas."

Cas blushed even harder and fell back into the pillows as Dean zipped up.

"Why is this happening?" he whimpered to Dean.

Dean pulled him up so he was sitting again, "It's not so bad. Imagine if they hadn't interrupted sooner." he had the nerve to grin at poor Cas.

"I'm so sorry Kevin, Channing." Cas groaned.

Kevin smiled, "Just, um, never again, okay? It's bad for my mental well being. The images..." he shuddered.

Dean rolled his eyes, and Cas kissed his cheek.

"I should be going." he said apologetically.

Dean smiled and nodded, "See you tomorrow?"

Cas smiled and grabbed his coat on his way out the door, "Of course. Bye, everyone."


	9. Family Remains

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *Snaps fingers and dances*  
> It's Sammeh, it's Sammeh.

It was Friday, the next week. Cas' stomach rolled with nerves. Dean was at a small booth getting them both coffee, and Cas waited in a small, red plastic chair. They were waiting for Sam, Dean's brother, to arrive. Both of Dean and Cas had taken the day off so that they could spend time with him. Sam's plane was already in, and they were just waiting for the passengers to unboard.

Dean came back and handed Cas his coffee just as a long line of people began to file out of the hallway that led to the plane. 

"We should have brought a sign." Dean joked as he scanned the crowd for his younger brother.

Cas tried to smile even bigger in response, but Dean wasn't paying attention. He was waving to someone, and Cas stood up beside him. A young man, tall with long brown hair and green eyes, was walking their way. Behind him he dragged a black suitcase.

Cas made a mental note list of all these facts, something he did when he was nervous. But, geez, this guy was tall. He was intimidated, even though Sam's smile was big and easy.

Dean hugged his brother with one arm, his coffee sloshing everywhere in his other hand. Sam patted his back. Once he was released, Sam held out a hand to his brother's soulmate.

"Castiel, right? Good to meet you."

Cas shook his hand. Sam's grip was tight and reassuring, and Cas immediately relaxed.

"Cas is fine. How is your soulmate?Jessica?"

Sam grinned even brighter, "Oh man, she's great. Perfect. Jess is so sweet, and pretty." Sam looked like he could go on for hours, and Cas smiled. He took Dean's hand, and they left the airport.

As they drove back to the University Of Kansas, Sam went off about everything he wanted to do. Namely he wanted to meet all of Dean's friends and see all of his favorite places and how the town had changed since he had left for Stanford.

Dean seemed to find this surplus of energy out of the ordinary for Sam.

"What kind of crack did they feed you on that plane?" he accused.

Sam shook his head, "My roommate, Lucifer, is constantly keeping me up all night. Like, every day constantly. And if I fall asleep, he pulls pranks on me."

Dean snorted.

"Laugh if you must, but he once tied me down on an inflatable whale to push me into the middle of the town swimming pool. Someone had to jump in and pull me out with them." Sam explained, rolling his eyes at the memory.

Cas pointed Dean to the right exit, eyebrows raised, "Not Lucifer Novak?" he asked uncertainly.

"Uh, yeah actually."

Cas closed his eyes and sighed.

"That would be my brother. I'm very sorry, Sam. I will talk to him."

Sam thanked him, and Dean spoke up.

"That doesn't explain your," he waved his hand, trying to come up with the right word, "hyperness. You should be dead on your feet, right?"

"I have like three triple red eyes every day just to keep me going."

"Why don't you change dorms?"

Sam sighed heavily, "I don't know. No one will put up with his pranks like I do, I guess. They'd just call the police."

Cas tried to stifle a yawn, and failed. Dean laughed.

"Tired?"

Cas shrugged, "A little. I'm not a morning person."

"But that's when all your classes are," Dean protested.

"I'm also not a smart person when it comes to choosing my classes."

The corners of Dean's mouth lifted, and he patted Cas' thigh with his free hand.

"Get some z's. I'll wake you back up when we get there." he ordered softly.

Cas nodded and laid his head against the cold window of the car. He let the hush of Sam and Dean's voices wash over him, and he fell asleep quickly.


	10. Season 7, Time For A Wedding

Cas was awake by the time they got back to the university. It was about ten in the morning now, maybe two hours later? Cas blinked exhaustion out of his eyes as Dean parked.

"Morning, Sunshine." Dean grinned.

Cas just blinked again in response.

Once he was sitting upright, Cas pulled his locket out of his shirt so it was showing. The silver, heart-shaped pendant stood out against his AC/DC shirt, which he had borrowed from Dean.

Sam unbuckled in the back seat, and leaned his arms against the backs of the couple's seats. 

"Ready, everyone?" he asked, slightly calmer as his coffee slowly wore off.

"Yeah, Kevin's got classes now, but Charlie's are later on so we can call and hang out with her. Oh! Idea!" Dean snapped his fingers, "We can call everyone up for lunch. Charlie, Kevin, and Channing are all free then, and that's the gang." he turned to Cas, "Unless you want to invite anyone?"

Cas shrugged, "You named most of my contacts. Well, there is Gabriel."

"Who?" Dean asked. Sam looked just as confused.

"My brother, at least, the one who goes to this school. He might like to come. Gabe is a...social creature." Cas grinned.

"Sounds great!" Sam said, giving his hands a clap, "What should we do until then?"

They decided to go bowling, and ended up not giving Sam the planned tour. He didn't mind, especially since Sam was currently creaming his brother on the lanes.

Cas however, to everyone's surprise, was beating them all.

Both Winchesters looked on with fascination as Cas got another spare, and turned around with a grin.

"Am I doing well, Dean?" he asked sincerely.

Dean put his arm around Cas' neck and sipped his beer, "Kiss me if I'm wrong, but I believe I'm losing." he said cheerfully in response.

Cas kissed his cheek, loving how Dean's stubble felt underneath his own neatly shaven skin. He touched it softly before blushing and turning back around to watch Sam bowl down eight pins.

"Your brother is great." he admitted to Dean, softly touching the arm still around his shoulders.

Dean smiled broadly, if a little nervously.

"I'm glad you like him, because there's something I've been meaning to ask, but there hasn't been the right moment."

The arm slid away from Cas, and he turned around to see what was going on.

Dean was fumbling around in his pocket, and he motioned for Cas to turn around. He did.

"Okay, we're good." Dean declared. Cas heard several people in the room gasp, and he thought Sam cheered.

Dean Winchester was on one knee, in the middle of a grubby bowling alley infested with people and possibly rats, offering Cas a ring. 

Dean licked his lips, his smile cocky but his green eyes still hesitant, almost scared. Cas couldn't look away, and he felt like his legs might give out beneath him.

Cas' boyish, handsome, ridiculous soulmate was proposing to him. 

"Are you going to make me ask?" Dean said, sounding stronger than either of them felt.

From behind them, Sam yelled, "Do it! Make him say it!"

The crowd and couple laughed.

Cas nodded.

"I know we haven't been together long, but you're my soulmate, Cas. Perfect and the only one I will ever need slash want." he swallowed, and Cas swore he saw tears in Dean's eyes. Dean Winchester never cried.

"I love you."

Cas grinned, his own eyes getting wet as Dean stood up and placed the ring on Cas' finger. It fit perfectly, of course. Once it was on, Dean took Cas' hands.

"Will you marry me?" he whispered.

Cas nodded, and squeezed his eyes shut. the crowd yelled and whistled as Dean scooped Cas up and kissed him, both of their happy tears mixing.

Dean rocked Cas, not letting him go, "Stop crying, silly." he teased.

"No, I'm happy." 

Dean let go, and kissed Cas once more. Sam came over and hugged them both, clapping Cas' shoulder and saying, "This means I'm going to be brothers with the devil, doesn't it?"

They left their bowling game unfinished and went back to the dorm, Dean never letting go of his now fiance's hand.


	11. Bloody Mary

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I've updated like three times today, but, you know, why not if they are written, right!?! Thank you everyone who comments and kudos. Ah, actually I love you just for reading!! I'll try and update again soon!

Sam, Dean, and Cas squeezed onto one side of the biggest booth in the restaurant. Cas sat on the edge, and Sam closest to the window. It was a small diner, but Dean loved the burgers so it was here that they chose to meet up with everyone. 

Cas saw something through the window, and nudged Dean, "Charlie." he said simply.

The redhead saw them through the glass and waved. Cas, grinning, waved back. In the bright, warm light of the afternoon sun his ring glinted. Charlie saw it, blinked, and freaked out.

She jumped up and down, ecstatic and letting the whole world know just how happy she was through screams and strangled words.

They couldn't hear her very well through the glass, so Dean shrugged and pointed to his ears. Charlie nodded in understanding, and brushed the hair out of her face. She practically flew in, past the greeter and into the other side of the booth.

"This is so cool, you guys! When, where, how. The deets. I must know!" she said excitedly.

"Sure, Charlie." Dean grinned, "This is my brother Sam. He came over from the big CA this morning."

Charlie stuck out a hand, and Sam shook it, "I didn't even see you, sorry. Nice to meet you, I'm Charlie. Well, obviously."

Sam smiled, "Nice to meet you."

She pounced back on Cas and Dean, "Okay, details!"

Dean filled her then, with Sam interjecting every now and then to say things like, "Cas creamed us at bowling." "Dean was so sappy." "They were both bawling like babies." 

To that, Dean sputtered, "I was not! Cas was a waterworks, of course, but not me!"

Cas looked into Charlie's eyes, and gave her a slow, secret shake of his head. 

Blubbering. he mouthed to her.

Naturally. She mouthed back, nodding in satisfaction.

Then, of course, a betrayed Dean looked over to see what Cas had told her. His fiance just patted his hand.

"The ring?" Charlie asked.

Cas gave her his hand and she inspected it closely.

"Another sappy thing Dean did," Sam commented, "it's their eyes, see? One blue stone, one green."

Sam was right. Pressed into the thick gold band were two tiny stones, a stone for Dean's eye and one for Cas'.

"That's sweet, Dean. A+ proposal job."

Kevin arrived at the table, and Charlie patted the seat next to her. he sat down gratefully.

"Channing can't make it, her last few classes loaded her with homework and we're going out later. She want's to get it done now so she doesn't have any later." Kevin apologized.

"That's okay." Dean said, waving a hand, "We've still got most everyone."

Kevin pointed to Cas' hand, which was resting on top of Dean's on the table.

"Is that a ring?" he asked.

As Dean launched proudly into the story once more, a short man appeared at the head of their table. He pulled up a chair from the table next to them and swung it around so he was sitting in it backwards.

"Sup, bitches?" 

Cas smiled at him, "My brother Gabriel, everyone."

"No way! You're the lollipop dude!" Dean cried to the confusion of most everyone.

Gabe gave a flourish of his hand in a mock bow, and grinned.

Dean saw the lost looks on his friends faces and explained, "The day I met Cas I was running late. While I was hurrying over to Dick's class, I run into Gabe here. He choked on the lollipop he was sucking on, and when I apologized he just said, 'I can deep throat.'"

Everyone at the table burst into laughter, and Gabe high-fived Dean. The waitress came over, and they ordered their drinks and meals. As they waited, the party tried to press more of the story out of Gabe and Dean.

Dean just shrugged, "There isn't much more to it, really."

"Why were you running late in the first place?" Cas asked, smiling.

Dean waved a hand without pausing.

"Ah, just overslept because I had a late night with some chick, no biggie."

Silence. Everyone at the table stared at Dean in horror, and Charlie, lips pursed, shook her head.

Cas looked paralyzed, and Dean briefly wondered if he was even breathing. 

"Cas, I'm so sorry. It was just a one-night stand, just another girl. She wasn't you." Dean pleaded.

He tried to take Cas' hand, but he flinched away. Actually flinched, like he was afraid of being hit. Dean's heart broke at the thought that Cas actually feared Dean hurting him.

"Just another girl, Dean?" Cas whispered, eyes trained on his lap, "How many girls were there?"

"I don't know, does it matter? I already said, they weren't you. As soon as I met you, they disappeared. I-I didn't even think about them until now."

No one at the table seemed to be able to take their eyes off the trainwreck. 

"Of course it matters, Dean. it matters to me very much." Cas' voice was a hoarse murmur, "How can I go on loving without thinking of all the girls you slept with," a tear now slipped down Cas' cheek, "a-and said 'I love you' to?"

Dean shook his head, "Cas it wasn't like th-"

"I need to go." Cas said, cutting him off. 

He slid out of the booth, and Dean followed him out of the restaurant.

"Please! Cas, wait!"

Cas whirled around, "How could you do this to me, Dean!? Am I not enough for you? Not pretty enough, not, I don't know, curvy?" Cas yelled, throwing his hands into the air.

He swallowed, and almost whispered, "What is it, Dean. What is wrong with me?" 

"I didn't know you back then, Cas! Nothing is wrong with you! You're perfect!" Dean yelled, heat rising to his cheeks in his anger.

"But you knew you were going to meet me one day. What then, Dean?"

"You were never meant to find out."

Cas stilled. He shook his head, tears making his cheeks shine in the light. Cas took his hand, and began to wiggle his ring of off it's finger.

"Wait, baby," Dean pleaded, "I love you."

Cas paused, and looked back up at Dean, "You know, that's the second time you've said that to me. Not today, ever." 

Dean took a step towards Cas, "It's true, Please, Cas, don't you love me back?" 

Cas took a deep breath, and blew it out slowly.

"Thirty minutes ago I did. Now..." he shook his head and whispered, "I just need to not see you. Not now, I don't know if ever." 

Dean didn't stop Cas as he threw the ring at him and stalked off down the street, his signature trench coat pulled tight to him even though the day was warm. Like he was trying to get it to hug him back.

Dean picked up the ring, and it was a day for seconds. Dean cried.


	12. The Benders

(5 hours ago)

DeanTheSquirrel: Cas please talk to me.

(5 hours ago)

DeanTheSquirrel: I'm so sorry baby. C'mon, answer me. At least let me know you're ok.

(4 hours ago) 

DeanTheSquirrel: Cas? 

(4 hours ago) 

DeanTheSquirrel: Cas

(4 hours ago) 

DeanTheSquirrel: Cas

(4 hours ago) 

DeanTheSquirrel: I'm going to keep spamming you until you answer

(3 hours ago)

DeanTheSquirrel: I haven't anything from you for hours. 

(2 hours ago)

DeanTheSquirrel: you didn't do to work today, i went to see if you were there. where are you, man? cas please answer me.

One Missed Call from DeanTheSquirrel 45 Minutes Ago

(30 minutes ago)

DeanTheSquirrel: I'm coming over.

Dean knocked on the door of Cas' dorm, and waited. After a while, Charlie answered the door with Channing by her side.

"He's not going to see you." Charlie said stubbornly.

Dean sighed, "Please Charlie. We've been friends for years, let me at least know how he's doing?"

Channing and Charlie both snorted.

"I told you this was going to bite you in the ass someday, Dean."

"I know you did. I should've listened. Gosh, I'm so damn stupid." Dean closed his eyes and leaned against the wall. He felt someone put their hand on his shoulder. It was Channing.

"He needs time to sort this out, Dean. It just hurts Cas more everytime you text him because he feels like the one betraying you."

"Of course he does." Dean said sadly, "He's Cas."

Charlie looked back to the room, and Dean tried to peer inside. He couldn't see anything, so he assumed Cas was holed up in his bedroom.

"Keep him safe, okay? And if you could I would really like to know how he's doing, like updates and stuff?"

Charlie nodded, "We should be going."

Dean smiled weakly at them, "Of course. Tell Cas not to worry, I'll stay away until he wants me to. And when he wants to see me...I'll be there as soon as I possibly can. Sooner."

Charlie moved as if to go back inside, but she paused. Turning around, Charlie hugged Dean tightly.

"Things will sort out, Dean."


	13. Meta Fiction

Cas felt broken. His necklace had been burning like ice since Dean had asked if Cas had loved him, and he had thrown it to the floor long ago. Cas didn't know what it meant for the necklace to suddenly freeze like that, and he didn't really care. He was being quartered by emotions: One horse was betrayal, another overwhelming sadness, and the third embarrassment. Cas thought Dean had actually loved him, and he was made a fool in front of all of their friends. But he also felt like he was the one betraying Dean for leaving him there and not hearing him out. That was almost to much to bear, but the last horse was worse. It was the love he still felt for Dean, and that was the one most ready to rip him apart.

So while Charlie and Channing talked to Dean in the hall, Cas threw on a clean and semi-decent looking outfit in his bedroom. He patted his dark hair in the mirror. On his desk he saw a picture of Dean and him together. Dean's arm was around Cas' chest and he holding him tightly. Cas stared up at him with complete adoration and devotion...so much that Cas felt sick. He contemplated breaking the thing, just throwing it against the wall and leaving it in pieces, but instead he just laid the photo on it's face so he wouldn't have to see it. 

Cas grabbed his jacket and opened the window. Cold air blew in immediately, and he shivered. He looked to the door of his bedroom on last time, listening for voices in the hall. He could hear nothing. Luckily, Cas lived on the first floor of Krehbiel Scholarship Hall. Once he was on he ground, he reached up to close the window. It stuck about halfway down, and Cas bit his lip. Shrugging to himself, he decided to just leave it. He didn't have anything to steal, not really, and Channing and Charlie were still there. 

Cas walked across the grass, towards where the streetlamps were cutting into the dark. He could feel the fresh dew dampening his shoes already. Once he was on the road, he realized he had no idea where he actually wanted to go. 

There was the familiar purr of the Impala's engine, and Cas' heart began to race. He ran down the road, desperately hoping Dean was going the opposite way. He was, and soon the Cas could no longer hear anything but crickets. He kept walking. It began to drizzle, and Cas sighed. Still, he didn't want to have to turn back and face the angry face of his friends.

When he found it, he walked into The Wheel almost without thinking. He never was much of an alcohol drinker, but he found himself sitting at the bar. It wasn't as rowdy as some, but the bar was still uncomfortably loud for Cas. The bar tender, a nice enough looking man with a dad-mustache, smiled at him.

"What would you like?"

Cas answered with the only alcohol he was sure of, "I would just like a beer, thank you."

While the man poured Cas one, a pretty girl sat next to him. She had light red hair and a pleasant smile, and Cas found himself smiling back.

"Hi. I'm April," she said, extending her hand to Cas. He took it.

"I am Castiel."


	14. Stairway To Heaven

Dean was even fully home when his phone started ringing. He pulled the square key out, and the car shut off. He picked up his phone, it's blue glow lighting up the small space. It was Charlie.

"What's up?"

"Cas is missing. The window was open and he-he's just gone."

"What? When did this happen?"

"Only like ten minutes ago, we realized it a little after you left."

Dean rubbed his temple with the tips of his fingers.

"Are you sure about this?"

"What?"

"Like, is he missing missing or just out?"

Charlie was quiet for a moment, "I guess you're right. But it's just not like Cas to go off like this without telling anyone, don't you think?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I guess you're right. It's not like I'm doing anything, we can go look."

Dean heard Charlie sigh in relief on the other end of the line, "Thank's Dean."

"I'll be there in ten."

Charlie opened the door as soon as she heard Dean knock, like she had been waiting only inches away from the door. She and Channing had their coats on, and Channing even had an umbrella. 

"Well I guess you two are ready." Dean smiled, and beckoned them to follow him.

"We should check out the bars. Cas doesn't drink, but he would've wanted to get out this rain."

Dean held the Impala's passenger side door open for Charlie, and Channing climbed into the back.

"We could start with The Wheel, that's where I go." Channing suggested.

Dean raised an eyebrow and looked at her in the mirror, "Really? You don't seem like the party type."

"I have my secrets, Winchester." she said, smiling wickedly.

Dean laughed and started down the road. The Wheel was lit up. It looked more inviting than most bars, with a red and blue theme. They walked up the steps and into the bar. 

They couldn't see Cas immediately, with all the people blocking him from view. Dean was about to say, let's give up, he's not here, when Channing spotted him.

"Over there." 

Dean found him at the bar, drinking beer with a pretty red head. Dean's stomach twisted when he realized that she was flirting with him, and Cas, in his own innocent way, was flirting back. Dean couldn't hear their conversation, but he saw the girl take Cas' hand and pull him up. Cas didn't fight back or anything Dean expected him to. Anything he really, really wanted Cas to do. They walked out of the bar together, passing only a few yards from Charlie, Channing, and Dean without seeing them. 

"What the hell is he doing?" Charlie yelled, furious.

"What he's got every right to do." 

"He's going to cheat on you, Dean! And you're just going to stand there and let him?"

Dean scowled and looked down at the floor, "Didn't you get the memo, Charlie? We're no together, not anymore."

"You're soulmates!" Channing protested.

"Yeah, well, I'm a dick and Cas doesn't have to deal with me anymore. Case closed."

The girls stared at him, stunned. Dean shook his head, and began to walk out of the bar. They followed, and nobody spoke throughout the entire drive to Channing's apartment. Dean walked her to her door and she hugged him. He hugged her back just as tightly, trying to keep his eyes dry. Channing let go a smiled at Dean before turning back into her apartment.

Charlie and Dean walked side by side to their dorms, both silent. They began to unlock the doors, and Charlie stopped as she grabbed the doorknob. 

Without turning around she said, "You shouldn't have given up, Dean. Cas is going to hate himself for whatever happens tonight, you know that."

Dean stayed silent, and opened his own door.

"Goodnight Charlie."


	15. Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for over a thousand hits and all the support! I love hearing from you all, and you loves mean so much to me!! THANK YOUUUUUU!!!!

April smiled at Cas nervously, and took his trench coat away for him. 

"Make yourself at home. You know, I-I don't usually do this. Bring home strange men, I mean."

Cas grinned at her teasingly, though curiously, "Am I strange?"

"A little mysterious, maybe." she laughed.

Cas sat down across from her in a grey chair. The whole apartment was artfully decorated, and he took a moment to look around.

"Thank you for letting me stay the night. I know we just met, and this is very kind of you." Cas told her.

"Soulmate troubles?" April said understandingly.

Cas shrugged, "It's complicated."

April closed the small distance by leaning over and putting her hand on Cas' knee. He looked up at her in surprise, and her blue eyes met his steadily.

"I know the feeling," she murmured.

She was so close, just inches away. Against all rational thought, Cas pressed his lips against hers. She kissed him back, parting her mouth a little. Cas put his hand on the back of her head, pulling her closer and into his lap.

"C'mon," she muttered, biting his lip, "let's take this to the bedroom."

Cas blinked his eyes, and then squeezed them shut against the bright light. He had no idea, for a minute, where he was. Then he remembered, and self-loathing flooded over him.

How could Cas do this to Dean? This only made things worse between them. Cas thought he was still angry at Dean, but he loved him still. Gosh, if this was how Dean felt when Cas found out about all the girls he had slept with...

Cas sat up in April's bed, quickly realizing that he was still unclothed. April was gone, and her side of the bed was cold. Cas quickly found his pants from the night before and pulled them on, along with his shirt. He wandered into the kitchen, fully intent on apologizing profusely to April and leaving as quick as possible.

Instead, he found her arguing with a muscular man. They were yelling at each other, and Cas realized that the man was April's soulmate.

"What do you mean I can't go into my own bedroom? What are you hiding, bitch?" he yelled, jabbing April's chest with his finger. Even at that little touch she stumbled.

"Hey!" Cas yelled, running up to him.

The man turned, scowling.

"So you were slutting around then, April." he accused, sizing Cas up.

"N-no! It was only last night, I was really drunk! Dan please!"

Dan backed Cas up out of the kitchen area and into the living room, and pushed him down into the grey chair. April let out a strangled gasp, and covered her mouth with one hand. Tears flowed down from her eyes.

"I'll teach you from screwing my soulmate." Dean grunted.

Cas pressed himself against the chair, and closed his eyes. He braced himself for the punch that was sure to come, but it didn't. Instead, Cas felt a sharp, blinding pain in his stomach. He opened his eyes in shock as April screamed in horror.

He had been stabbed.


	16. There's No Place Like Home

Dean flew down to halls, somehow managing to not knock anyone over in his haste. He was running so fast, he skidded into turns and almost missed the room when he got to it. The door was open, and Dean didn't pause as he walked in.

There he was: covered with tubes, small and fragile in the bed. Sweat shone on his brow, and Dean's heart almost stopped.

"Cas...oh, baby..." he murmured, taking a nearby chair and pulling it closer to his soulmate's bedside.

He took Cas' hand gently. The steady beeping of the heart monitor was the only sound in the room, and Dean tried to keep his eyes from wandering to Cas' bandaged stomach. He had had to get stitches, and lot's of them,but the doctors said he was in stable condition. That he was lucky.

Dean wondered how Cas could ever be lucky and still be in such an awful state.

Cas' eyes fluttered, and then opened. He took a breath when he saw Dean.

"De...what are you-"

Dean rubbed the back of Cas' hand with his thumb, "It's okay, Cas. Just rest."

Cas shook his head, and tried to sit up. He gasped in pain, and looked down at his stomach. Panting, Cas looked back up at Dean with fear in his eyes.

"That girl's boyfriend stabbed you, remember?" Dean spoke as though he were talking to a baby. Cas nodded slowly.

"She brought you here, and I came as soon as I could." he continued, looking away from Cas' gaze.

Dean had tried to tell himself that what Cas had done was only fair. He had no right to stop him. But still, when Dean saw Cas with April at that bar, it was like someone twisting a knife into his own gut. Feeling the way he did, Dean could easily see how it came to a full circle...he betrayed Cas, who was so hurt he slept with someone else, and now Dean was the one who was crying for it.

"I'm so sorry, Dean." Cas said, trying to get Dean to look at him again.

He did, but he couldn't keep the pain out of his eyes.

"You don't need to be sorry, angel. I love you, no matter what. Everything you did I deserved. I just-I just wish you didn't have to suffer, too."

Cas frowned, and looked down at his lap.

"Are you going to stay?" he asked.

Dean smiled, and brought Cas' hand to his lips. He kissed it, and let it drop gently. 

"As long as you want me here is as long as I'll stay."


	17. Alpha And Omega

Dean was unwilling to go to his classes the next day, but Cas insisted. He also asked Dean to get his work from whoever would give it to him. Some of Cas' professors were unwilling at first, but once they found out he had been stabbed...well, they could hardly refuse.

He said hello to the nurses at the front desk, and signed in. Charlie had wanted to come with him to see Cas, but it was past four o'clock and she was in class. She promised she would see Cas on her day off.

Even though Cas smiled when Dean walked in, he could see the dark circles under his eyes from the doorway. Dean put on a brave face, even though he hated seeing Cas like this. He sat in the chair next to Cas' cot, and pulled out a slightly crumpled rose from inside his jacket.

"Dean, how many times?" Cas reprimanded lightly, taking it and petting it's soft petals.

"You'll only have to keep saying it until you figure out that you're worth the five dollars."

Cas rolled his eyes and took Dean's hand, "But it's five dollars every day."

"Exactly."

"So what did you do today?" Cas asked, mindlessly rubbing his thumb over the back of Dean's hand.

"Went to classes, because you insisted. I got your work," Dean bent down to dig in his backpack.

He pulled out a thick binder, and handed it to Cas. He frowned, and began to flip through it.

"It's mostly blank paper, but I had the teachers put in today's notes and stuff."

Cas sighed in relief, and put the binder on his bedside table.

"Thank gosh, I was worried for a moment."

Dean laughed.

"What did you do today? I can't imagine having much fun here. I would lose my mind."

Cas scowled, "I am going insane. I have nothing to do all day so I just..." he trailed off and blushed.

"What? What did you do?"

"I watched Dr. Sexy MD reruns. Gabriel brought his computer, so I borrowed his Netflix to start watching Orange Is the New Black. I've heard nothing but good things, but I'm mostly confused. I don't understand how orange correlates with black in any way that's new." 

Dean shook his head, "No, Cas, it's like-"

Seeing that Cas wasn't getting it, Dean moved on.

"Ah, well. We've all had a binge. When do I get to spring you from here?"

Cas shrugged a little, careful to not overdo it. Dean saw that moving to much and in the wrong way hurt Cas bitterly.

"The doctor said in a few days, I think? They want to make sure I'm healing okay. After that, antibiotics and lot's of rest."

Dean whistled.

"Really? A few days? You just got stabbed. Are you sure you're okay?"

Cas nodded, but Dean shook his head, still unsure. Cas pointed to Dean's neck, head cocked curiously.

"What's the second chain for?"

Dean shook his head, and adjusted his collar to hide it. His soulmate necklace was hidden as well, though, and so he pulled it out. 

"Nothing, really. Just ignore it. Who introduced you to the big N?"

Cas glared at him, but Dean remained stubbornly silent.

"Gabe did, and Charlie. What's the new necklace for?"

"Not something I want to talk about."

"Don't make me mad, Dean Winchester."

They glared at each other relentlessly for a solid minute before Dean broke with a sigh. He tugged at the chain, revealing the necklace. It was a chain, with Cas' ring on it.

Cas looked away from Dean, who hurriedly put it away.

"Sorry." he muttered.

"Not your fault, I asked to see it." Cas said, his jaw clenched.

Silence. Cas didn't look back at Dean, he just stared at the wall to his right.

"Are we ever going to talk about this?"

"I thought we agreed we didn't have to." Cas said temperately.

Dean sat on the edge of his seat, trying and failing to get Cas' attention.

"Cas it's not healthy to just let this go. It will just...fester and one day it will just come back to bite us."

Cas looked back at Dean sharply for a minute, his eyes so cold it physically shocked Dean. He wondered if he was pushing too far. Dean didn't want to lose Cas again, but he knew what he was doing was necessary. 

"Fester? What a vocabulary word, Dean. Did it take you all month to come up with that? Or maybe you thought of it while you were laying in those girl's beds soaked in after intecourse sweat." Cas spat.

Dean would've laughed at the comeback if it didn't sting so much.

"How many times do I have to say I love you? I didn't cheat on you Cas! This was before I met you!"

"Do you realize those girls have soulmates, too, Dean? Those guys or girls whoever they are will have to suffer just like I did! Just like I am!" Cas cried, turning back to face Dean. 

The movement was so quick that it upset his wound, and Cas gasped in pain. Dean hurried to help him, but Cas pushed him away even as he clutched at his side.

"I never wanted to hurt you, Cas."

"Really? Because it sure as hell doesn't feel like it." Cas looked back up at Dean, his eyes brimmed with tears, "And I know I'm not innocent because of April and I know I have no right to keep this grudge-"

"You have every right." Dean interjected.

"But it doesn't make it any less difficult to not pass a girl in the commons and wondered if you took her to your bed, and why she let you. And it doesn't make it less to bear the knowledge that you probably told them you loved them, called them angel, whispered to them everything you used to say to me. It doesn't stop me from shivering every time I remember April and what we did because that just made everything worse, stabbing aside, and just want to take a bath and wash away everything that happened," Cas took a breath and sobbed. He bit his hand and looked down as his body racked with tears.

"Cas, it was all casu-"

"STOP!" Cas covered his ears with his hands and sobbed again, "I can't do this right now, Dean!"

Dean stopped talking immediately, eyes wide. He couldn't register what was happening, how he had broken Cas so much.

How he had broken Cas.

"I love you so, so much. I know you don't want to hear that right now, but I really do."

Cas lowered his hands from his ears, but didn't lift his head. Instead, he grabbed fistfuls of his blanket. 

"And when you are ready, actually ready this time," Dean took a breath, "we may talk about this. Until then, we can go on however you want. We don't have to see each other at all, if that's what you need."

Cas shook his head, "I think we've learned that it doesn't end well when I try to cut you out of my life."

Dean nodded, and noticed his hands were shaking. He stuffed them in his pockets to hide them.

"Awesome. Friends?"

Cas shook his head again, "No. I don't want that, either. I still love you, Dean. I just can't talk about this right now. The whole....girl...thing. Can we just keep going on ignoring it? Please?" he begged.

It was Dean's turn to shake his head no. 

"Not forever. But for a few weeks, we can. I'm not promising forever."

Cas hung his head.

Hesitantly, Dean leaned over to kiss his cheek. There was no response. Dean made his way to the door, but Cas stopped him.

"Can I have it?" Cas asked quietly.

Dean turned, eyebrow raised in question.

"What?"

"The, uh-" Cas gestured around his neck, and Dean nodded in understanding.

Dean unclasped the chain from around his neck, and tossed it to Cas. It landed in his lap, and he picked it up. Cas studied it, turning it in his fingers and looking at it from every angle in the harsh hospital light.

His last image of Cas was a single tear rolling down his angel's face, and the glint of the two stones on the rings dancing, together, on the room's walls as Cas turned it over and over before clasping it tightly in his closed fist.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a reminder that I love you people (and potential extraterrestrials) and to comment what you think. Also...maybeI'lldosmutlateroninthestoryifsuggestedenough wink wink hint hint  
> also, despite the last image thing, THIS ISN'T THE END. Not even close. Okay, maybe close. I honestly don't know this hasn't been prewritten or anything. You can say I'm "making it up as I go"


	18. Phantom Traveler

Dean admitted that he was nervous about Cas getting out of the hospital after only a few days.

After all, he had been freaking stabbed! Doesn't that warrant a little more than bandaids and a kiss for good luck? But Cas was adamant that he was fine, and the doctors were on his side. Dean didn't want to dig himself into a digger ditch than he already was in, so he just went with it. 

Now here Dean was, signing Cas out of the hospital with a supportive arm around his back. It still hurt him to move to quickly, but Dean didn't mind being careful with him. 

As they walked to the Impala, Dean swore Cas would be bouncing if he could. Dean smiled as he held the door open for his soulmate.

"Happy?" he teased.

Cas grinned at him, and carefully got into the car. Once he was seated, he held put a gentle hand on his bandaged stomach. Not like it was hurting him, but like Cas was just acknowledging the fact that he was hurt and, oh yes, there was a stab wound in his stomach. Hmm, better be careful there. 

"Of course I am, Dean. I just escaped that hell hole. Can we go get something to eat? I'm sick of having jello as though it's some kind of special treat." Cas' eyes sparkled, "I would kill to have a burger."

Dean laughed, and put his hand on Cas' knee.

"Don't worry, I've got something planned."

They drove to a small diner. They had to drive for almost an hour before they found it. The restaurant was on the side of the road, seemingly in the middle of nowhere as they had left town a while back.

Cas frowned as he read the sign, mostly in confusion.

"The Roadhouse?"

Dean nodded, parking the car. The small lot was almost full, which surprised Cas.

"A friend owns it. Don't worry," he assured him, "best food you'll ever eat."

Cas smiled and climbed out of the car. Dean walked over to him, and put an arm around his back.

"I'm fine, Dean." Cas grumbled.

"I know you are, I just want to be sure." Dean said, kissing his soulmate's temple.

As they were walking, a flash of light caught Dean's attention. Looking down he saw that Cas was wearing the ring.

A lump grew in his throat, and he swallowed. Dean pretended he hadn't seen the ring, and kissed the space where Cas' neck met his shoulder softly. Cas paused.

"What?" he asked quietly.

Dean shook his head, "Nothing. I just...I'm lucky, I guess."

Cas smiled, though confusion lingered in his eyes.

"Don't get soft on me, Dean." he warned playfully.

Dean ducked his head, smiling. 

"Nah." he said simply, leaning forward to give Cas another kiss.

The door to the Roadhouse suddenly opened, and a familiar head of brown hair leaned out.

"Hey! Are you coming or what?" Sam yelled.

Dean waved a hand at him, and turned to face Cas. He entwined their fingers, and brushed the black hair out of Cas' eyes with his free hand. 

"What's Sam doing here?" Cas asked quietly.

"Everyone's here. It's a party, for you." Dean shrugged, "Also, Sam's going back to Stanford tomorrow so it's kind of a welcome home-going away thing."

Cas smiled and squeezed Dean's hand. They walked, together, into the Roadhouse. It was pretty crazy inside, but in an almost controlled way. Like teenagers partying in a basement: going wild, but still holding back because they knew that there were adults upstairs.

It was easy to see who the 'adult' was in this scenario: a woman named Ellen Harvelle, and she greeted Cas with a tight hug. She let go with a firm pat on his back, and moved to Dean.

"How come you get the pretty ones?" she whispered accusingly in his ear.

Dean laughed and pulled away.

"Cas, this is Ellen. Ellen, my soulmate, Castiel."

Ellen smiled at Cas, "Pleasure. Why don't you boys go have some fun? Ash is hogging all the beer, but I bet if you steal it away it's all your's."

She winked at them, and disappeared into the kitchen.

"Is there pie!?" Dean called after her.

"You know there is!" she yelled back.

Dean groaned in relief, and they made their rounds saying hello to everyone.

"Cas, this is Jo, Ellen's daughter, and this is Ash." Dean introduced, snatching the beer bottle Ash was about to uncap away from him.

Ash nodded at Cas by way of greeting. He had a blond mullet, and a black shirt with ripped sleeves. A stereotypical scary biker look, but the scrawny man couldn't quite pull it off.

Jo Harvelle was a pretty girl, by the looks of it a few years younger than Dean. At the very least she was a senior in high school, Cas was sure.

Of course, Charlie, Sam, Kevin, and Channing were all there, too. Gabe had even managed to stop by, to Cas' surprise. 

They were all seated at the bar, talking and goofing off, when Ellen came out of the kitchen carrying a tray of burgers, more drinks, and, of course, a pie for Dean. he lifted it from her hands and sniffed it reverently.

"Pecan?" he asked, his voice filled with wonder.

Ellen smiled at him, "Of course."

Dean licked his lips and helped himself to half of the pie, letting the other's attack the rest.

"You're the best." he told Ellen, his mouth full.

Cas hit his arm, and Dean looked up.

"Not with your mouth full." Cas reprimanded, sneakily sticking his fork into Dean's plate and stealing a bite.

Dean swallowed, and grabbed Cas around the waist when he tried to run off. Cas laughed as Dean buried his face in the crook of his neck, and pulled Cas into his lap.

"My pie," Dean growled.

Cas kissed the side of his head, and Dean released him. Cas quickly reached out a hand, and stole Dean's entire plate. Dean groaned, but Cas only grinned slyly back at him as he helped himself.

"You know if I let you do that everyone is going to." Dean complained lightly.

Cas shrugged, and handed Dean back the rest of his pie. Pecan wasn't his flavor, he had discovered.

"We can fend them off together, don't worry."

Dean nodded in Sam's direction, "Think you can take on a full grown moose?"

Sam turned to scowl at them, and his brother threw his napkin at him. Sam batted it away, a smile playing on his features.

"Maybe. I bet we could together."

Dean smiled at the thought, and pulled Cas in for a quick kiss. His lips were rough and sweet, and Cas sighed when they pulled away.

Ash threw Dean a bottle of beer, which he caught deftly. Everyone clapped, and Dean gave a mock bow. For the moment, the fight from a few days prior was almost forgotten. Dean and Cas were very, very happy.


	19. Route 666

There was something quite obviously wrong with Castiel.

Over the following weeks since the party, Dean has done nothing but dote on him. Taking him out for dinner, bringing him lunch at work, and having movie nights that turn into small makeout sessions. 

Still, Dean knows Castiel like he knows the rainbow. It seemed as though Cas was held down by a heavy weight, more tired than usual and less likely to initiate any contact or meetings between them. He didn't want to believe that Cas was avoiding him, per say, as much as avoiding what had happened. Dean was sick of the fight weighing on their relationship, and he decided that it was long past the time to try and fix it.

Dean summoned his courage while they were entwined on his bed, watching the film adaption of Cas' favorite book, The Grapes Of Wrath. Cas' head was resting on Dean's chest, and just looking at him made Dean's heart swell painfully. He paused the movie with a small sigh, and Cas looked up at him in confusion.

"I didn't think it was that bad." he said, almost apologetically.

Dean ran his hand through the mess of raven black hair before him. It was soft, and stuck of in funny yet endearing way when his fingers combed through it. 

"It-it's not that. We need to talk."

Cas fiddled with the collar of Dean's shirt, looking away from him.

"Oh?" he tried to make his tone disinterested, but Dean could see he was struggling.

"Yeah. About...you know, the whole-" Dean sighed, unable to find the right words.

Cas stilled all together, and Dean wondered for a minute if he was even breathing.

"What if I don't want to?" he eventually.

"Cas," Dean pleaded softly, rubbing his thumb gently over the back of Cas' neck, "this isn't exactly easy for me, either."

Cas nodded into Dean's chest, and swallowed.

"I know that."

There was an uncomfortable silence as they both thought of how to continue. 

"How do you want to do this? Should we, I don't know, ask questions?"

Cas shrugged, and they went silent again. Dean tapped Cas' shoulder with his finger a few times.

"Why did you do it?" Cas asked eventually, voice so quiet it was almost a murmur.

"You mean why did I sleep with all those girls?" 

Cas nodded again, and turned away from Dean.

"Honestly? I did it for fun. I had no reason, which only makes it worse, I know, but I didn't think there would be any consequences." he made as if to reach forward and rub Cas' back, but he pulled back at the last second.

"Charlie warned me." he adds.

Cas doesn't move, but Dean imagines him closing his eyes like he does when he's upset and trying to block out the world.

"Cas?"

In response, the man merely nodded. Dean's eyebrows knit together.

"Okay....my question: why are you beating yourself up over this so much?"

"I'm not." Cas said quickly.

Dean almost rolled his eyes at the lie.

"Cas...."

Cas took a moment to roll back over so he was facing Dean. His blue eyes were wet, and so Dean pulled him to his chest. 

Cas sobbed, and Dean coulddo nothing but hold him.

"I-I betrayed you. I must be the only person in history to have ever broken the soulmate binding. And p-poor April, she has an awful soulmate and I just made everything worse for her-" Cas grabbed fistfuls of Dean's shirt, which soon became damp with his salty tears.

Rubbing Cas' lower back, Dean decided it was best to let him calm down before he answered. Eventually Cas did. He still shook a little in Dean's arms, and he could see that tears were still leaking out of his closed eyes. Dean kissed the top of his head, holding it for a minute. 

Slowly, he tried to explain himself.

"Ever think that you are everything to me? I was nothing before I met you. Then my-my bastard locket started burning and you were perfect in every way. Seriously. You just had to kiss my cheek and it was like I was in the middle of the Big Bang and you were my universe being created." Dean paused, and Cas looked up at him.

Dean could see the weight slowly ebbing away from Cas' shoulders, and he smiled in relief.

"You can't kill the universe, Cas. Everyday it just keeps getting bigger and better."

"Well, that's not exactly true. Scientists theorize-" Cas began, his voice hoarse.

Dean cut him off by leaning down for a kiss. Cas accepted it eagerly, putting his hands on the back of Dean's head and drawing him closer with a smile. It was the most beautiful thing to feel Cas' smile under his lips, and he didn't want it to ever go away. 

"I love you so much." Dean said between kisses, "And I don't want to give you up."

"Really?" Cas sounded almost amused.

"To selfish."

"I'm so sorry, Dean."

"It's already forgiven."

Cas laid back against the pillows, and Dean entwined their fingers as he hovered over him. He could feel the hard metal of Cas' ring pressed against his finger, but he still didn't comment it. There was no need to rush things, and Dean was afraid of breaking what they had just fixed. if he had realized that Dean had noticed the accessory, Cas didn't comment. He just slid his cool hands under Dean's shirt, making him shiver a little.

"I have to go." he murmured, not sounding to excited. 

Dean nodded, and nuzzled his nose in the side of Cas' neck.

"No, really." Cas gently pushed Dean away after one final peck.

Dean groaned, but Cas just smirked.

"We have time a plenty, Dean."

Dean raised a joking eyebrow at the suggestion, but really his heart raced at the thought.

"You mock me?" Dean growled playfully.

Cas smirked, and Dean was happy to see the familiar lively spark in his soulmate's eyes.

"Stop by tomorrow?"

Dean nodded, and Cas slipped on his shoes.

"Good. I love you, Dean." he paused slightly, taking a moment to put on his trademark trench coat, "Also, I want to thank you."

"What for?"

"Everything. Really." he didn't specify, but Dean knew.

"I love you too."

"I know."

Cas left the dorm, and Dean closed the lid on his computer without bothering to close out of the movie.


	20. Pilot

They were taking it slow.

Dean and Castiel understood each other know, and the argument was only a (admittedly large) bump in their relationship.

Okay, it was a freaking mountain. But they were healing. About a week after the talk in Dean's dorm, Cas started up at work again. The couple's routine slowly slid back to normal, and the steadiness of it made Dean surprisingly happy. He never thought he'd be the domestic type. But, then again, everything was different with Cas.

The bookstore was empty when he arrived, embracing the warmth that greeted him as soon as he walked inside. It was getting colder everyday, a fresh reminder that Thanksgiving was almost near.

Dean started as he realized that the holiday was only in a few weeks. The thought of seeing his family again made him smile.

Walking up to the counter Dean said, "Is it always this empty in here or does my awesomeness scare people away?"

Cas put away the thick book he was reading with a smile.

"Hello, Dean."

He presented the flower to Castiel, who accepted it with his eyebrow raised.

"It's yellow?"

Dean nodded, leaning with his back against the counter.

"They didn't have any red." Dean said, so sincerely apologetic that Cas smiled.

He leaned across the counter to kiss Dean, who smiled into it.

"I love it anyways."

Cas' blue eyes sparkled as he fingered the flower, eventually taking out a pair of scissors and trimming it so it would fit in the pocket of his work vest.

"Are you free tonight?" Dean asked as Cas busied himself by counting the money in the register, cleaning the counter, and organizing the books that needed to be returned to the shelves.

Cas nodded, straightening the stack of fantasy novels.

"Kevin and Channing want to go to the fairgrounds to see all the 4-H booths they have set up there. Are you interested?"

Cas made a face, and Dean laughed.

"Won't it be cold?" he questioned.

"Nah. It's all inside, and we were planning to get dinner afterwards. But if you don't want to..." he trailed off, looking at Castiel expectantly.

After thinking about it for a moment, Cas nodded slowly.

"It sounds pleasant. I would like that, yes. What time will you pick me up?"

Dean checked his watch, frowning.

"Can you get out of work early today?"

Cas scowled slightly, but it was clear he was more thoughtful than angry.

"Dean, I have been missing work for almost three weeks."

"Severe medical leave," Dean argued.

Cas rolled his eyes.

"Regardless, I doubt Mr. McCLure will just let me go. There's no one to take my shift."

Dean gestured around the empty store.

"There's no one here to serve either!"

Cas looked like he was trying to come up with a retort, but he had nothing. Sighing, he unbuttoned his work vest.

"I'll call him."

It turns out Cas' boss was all to willing to let him clock out early.

"Yes! Yes! You go! You work to much, have fun."

"Are you sure it's no problem?"

"You're my best employe, Novak. I would give you a raise and a promotion if you only asked."

Cas blushed at the praise, "I assure, that is not necessary."

"Fine, fine. Goodbye, have fun! I will see you tomorrow!" McClure declared.

His voice was unusually high for a grown man's, and he was very excitable. Still, McClure was a good boss and a kind man.

"I will. Goodnight, sir."

Dean raised his eyebrow as Cas closed his phone with a snap. Yes, Castiel, despite Dean's persistent nagging, still had a flip phone.

"Well?"

Cas grinned, "He said I am free to go."

Dean clapped his hands in excitement. He threw the store's keys to Castiel, who looked at him curiously.

"I got bored while you were talking so I got everything done so we could leave earlier."

Cas nodded, and grabbed his trenchcoat. They locked the door quickly, and jogged to wear the Impala was parked. There was no snow on the ground yet, but their breath fogged the air.

"Damn it's cold." Dean swore as the climbed into the car.

He shivered as he felt the cold leather of the seats and turned the heat on way up.

"Are we meeting Channing and Kevin there?" Cas asked as he buckled his seatbelt.

"Nah. We've got the extra time, so I bet we can pick them up at the dorm."

They did. About an hour later they were pulling into the fairgrounds. There were no rides set up, but long, red buildings were displaying works done by the local 4-H club along with some entries in a county-wide art contest. The sun was setting, and though it was mostly blocked by the dark, looming clouds, the fiery oranges and soft pinks of the sunset peeked through. Fairy lights decorated the entrance to the first building, giving it a comforting glow. Cas grabbed Dean's arm, and something in his stomach warmed.

"What should we see first?" Kevin asked Channing. Their hands, entwined, were swinging between them.

Dean had to admit, they made a very good couple.

"I don't know. Let's just start here and work our way down, how about that?"

They agreed that that was the best plan, and the couples split up to roam around and look at the exhibits. There were a lot of well done paintings, quilts, and a number of arts and crafts projects. Dean's favorite part, of course, was the snack booth that had homemade treats.

He grinned, and dragged Cas towards it with a mock evil laugh. They got some soda and, of course, Dean insisted they both get a slice of pie.

"You won't find anything this good until Thanksgiving. Just wait until you try my mother's pecan pie..." Dean shook his head in satisfaction.

Cas tilted his head curiously, "We need to talk about our plans for the holiday. I would, of course, like to see my family but I would also very much like to see yours."

Dean pursed his lips, and Cas instinctively reached over to wipe whipped cream off of his cheek.

"You are the messiest eater I have ever met." he commented jokingly.

Dean frowned, "Really? I would've thought Gabe would be."

"You're probably right. I take it back: the second messiest eater."

They were silent for a moment, but it wasn't uncomfortable. With the gentle murmur of people talking and moving around their small table and the knowledge that it was cold outside but warm in there, they were both quite happy.

"You know, I bet my mom would love to meet your folks." Dean said eventually, scraping the remaining crumbs off of his dish and into his mouth.

"Really? Do you think she would have us?" Cas asked, growing excited at the thought.

"She would love to! Mary's huge on hosting. And she's been dying to meet you, she texts me about at least three times a week."

Cas threw his arms around Dean's shoulders, stunning him for a second. He tentatively patted Cas' back before reaching up to return the hug.

"I am so lucky, Dean." Cas murmured in his ear.

Dean blushed, "It's just Thanksgiving."

Castiel pulled away, shaking his head. Before he could say anything, however, Dean's phone began to ring. He held up a finger for Cas to wait a moment, and answered it.

"Heya Sammy. How does dinner with the Novaks sound for Thanksgiving?" he said cheerfully, leaning back in his chair.

Cas shot him a look to remind him, as the school teachers say, to keep four on the floor. Dean rolled his eyes, but obliged.

"D-Dean." Sam's voice cracked. He sounded panicked and lost, yet distant at the same time.

"Sammy? What's wrong?"

Dean could hear the tears in his brother's voice now as he choked to get out what he had to say.

"There was...there was a fire and Jess-" Sam gasped as though someone was torturing him, and Dean heard him sob. He had never, not in his life, heard his brother so upset.

"Sam? Stay with me here. What happened? Is she okay? Sam?!"

"S-She's dead, Dean."


	21. Lily Sunder Has Some Regrets

Dean booked a ticket on the first plane he could find to California. After all, his brother needed him.

“Dean, you need to slow down.” Cas was trying to stay calm, but Dean knew he was holding back a lot of emotions at the moment.

In truth, so was he.

Dean shoved more clothes into his suitcase, and moved to the bathroom so he could get the essential toiletries.

“I can’t. My plane leaves in an hour.”

Cas grabbed Dean’s wrist, gently prying his arm away from the medicine cabinet's door.

“I could go with you.” he said seriously, holding Dean’s green gaze.

Dean leaned forward to give him a soft kiss on the forehead, and he took a moment to just run his hand through Cas’ raven black hair.

“Sorry, angel. This is a family issue.”

Cas’ lips parted like he was going to say something, but instead his eyes just filled with hurt. Dean put his hand on Cas’ shoulder gently, and he closed his eyes.

“Hey, I didn’t mean it like that. It’s just...Sam needs me, you know? You two really hit it off, but he needs really familiar faces right now and the people who love him to just be near. Just for a few days, and then I’ll come home or you can fly up for the funeral. Okay?”

Cas nodded, and when he opened his eyes they were wet.

“Why are you crying?” Dean marveled, folding the man into his arms.

“I-It’s nothing. It’s just awful. I can’t imagine what Sam’s going through, losing Jessica like that and it’s just what if I lost you? I wouldn’t be able to…” Cas clung to Dean, tears soaking the front of his shirt as Cas tried to take deep breaths.

“Don’t think about that, Cas.” Dean ordered, “Don’t ever. You got that? Don’t ever let those cross your mind. I’m here to stay and bug you for the rest of time, got that?”

Castiel nodded, and they broke apart. Dean reached up and gently wiped away a stray tear from his soulmate’s face.

“You’re in charge of Baby, got that? Charlie is not allowed to go for joyrides, and Kevin definitely isn’t allowed within thirty meters of her. He breaks everything.

Cas gave a shaky laugh, and nodded.

“I understand.”

Dean gave Cas’ shoulder one last squeeze, looking like he wished he could do more, say more to make Cas feel better and more secure. Instead, he just smiled and tossed him the keys.

“She’s all yours, angel. I’ll call when I get to the airport.” Dean patted Cas' shoulder once more, and started walking towards the door.

Cas squeezed the keys tight in his hand, feeling the cool metal teeth bite into his palm. He didn’t turn around to watch Dean go, instead keeping his eyes trained on the wall in front of him. Castiel heard the door close, and something in his stomach sank as he realized that he had forgotten to tell Dean that he loved him.

Dean rode several different buses to the airport, each more unpleasant than the last. He tried not to focus on the smell (and rather shady company on one) and instead tried to get a few minutes of fitful rest. He wasn’t good on planes, in fact Sam was a firm believer that Dean downright suffered from aviophobia.

The eldest Winchester didn’t think it was that extreme, but then again he couldn’t see for himself how much he freaked out.

Dean got to the airport with time to spare. Remembering his promise, he dialed Cas’ number and let it ring.

“Hello? Cas, you there?”

“Yes, Dean, is everything alright?” Cas answered anxiously.

Dean smiled, better off just hearing Castiel’s voice over the phone.

“Yeah. I just promised I would call, right? What are you doing?”

“I’m at Charlie’s dorm room. Her and her roommate are trying to get me to let them paint my nails.”

Dean grinned, “Let them, it’s actually quite soothing.”

Cas laughed, and for a second the line went quiet except for the sound of whispered arguments and a lot of cursing.

“Hi Dean!”

Charlie had, apparently, been able to wrestle Cas’ flip phone away from him.

“Hey, nerd. What are you planning to do with my boyfriend?” Dean said, lowering his voice to feign angry suspicion.

Charlie giggled, “Nothing! We were just going to have a girls-plus-Cas night. He makes a great addition to the squad, you know.”

Dean’s smile grew fond, “Yeah. Don’t torture him to much, and look out for him, you hear? He’s taking Jess'...Jessica’s death real hard.”

Dean cleared his throat, but the sudden lump stayed. He still wasn’t over the initial shock.

Charlie’s tone softened, “I got him, Dean. You go to Sam and take care of him.”

Dean nodded even though he knew Charlie couldn’t see.

“Thanks kiddo. Can I say goodbye?”

There was no answer except for more rustling, and then Castiel gained his phone back.

“I miss you.” he said immediately.

“Same here, baby. Have fun with the girls, and I’ll call you tomorrow when everything is settled, okay?” Dean bit his lip.

“Of course.”

“I love you, angel. Sweet dreams”

Dean imagined he could see Cas’ smile, even though they were miles apart.

“I love you, too.” he whispered.

The line went dead, and Dean paused a minute before sliding the phone back into his pocket. He rubbed his face, tiredness setting in even though it wasn’t even seven yet. Over the speakers someone announced that Dean’s flight was now boarding, so he grabbed his hastily packed suitcase. Part of him wished he had brought Cas along, but he knew that seeing Cas after what he had lost might make Sam upset.

Doesn’t mean he missed his soulmate any less.


	22. Mystery Spot

Sam Winchester was the baby of the family. Dean was four years old when his brother was born, and he took up the personal responsibility of caring for Sammy.

Needless to say, seeing him like this was not easy.

Soulmates fought, even when they were perfect for each other. Even in the worst of things, though, such as when Dean and Cas were fighting, the thought of one losing the other was unbearable. Dean had no idea what Sam wasn’t going through, didn’t want to even imagine it. He's heard the horror stories about people losing their soulmates and immediately being put on suicide watch, or worse, when people weren't saved in time.

Dean didn’t want that to happen to his brother. Losing Sam would be just as bad as losing Cas. In his mind, the two were equal but different.

Dean loved Cas in a romantic way more than he ever had and ever would love anyone in the universe.

He loved Sam just as much, but in the way that he had been protecting him, raising him, and caring for him since his brother was a newborn.

At the moment, Sam Winchester looked like a dead man walking. When Dean first saw him as he opened the door to his dorm room, his initial thought was: It’s going to take a lot of triple red eyes to get him back to the land of the fully awake.

He wasn’t that far off. Sam had obviously not slept since he had called Dean almost a full day before, and he seemed to have not eaten, either. Sam’s eyes were bagged and red, though from exhaustion or crying Dean couldn’t tell.

At a loss of what he could say, Dean simply reached out and pulled his brother in for a hug. Sam clung to him like a man out of hell, patting Dean’s back firmly and squeezing with all the strength he could muster.

It was Dean who pulled away first, eventually.

“Hiya, Sammy.” he said softly, messing up his brother’s hair.

Sam was to tired to give even the feeblest of protests, and just moved aside to let Dean in.

His roommate, Castiel’s brother Lucifer, was sitting on his bed. At first glance he appeared to be reading a comic, but Dean quickly realized it was actually pornography. He left Lucifer to be after that piece of knowledge sunk in.

The younger Winchester dropped onto his own respective bed, which groaned in protest beneath him. He looked about ready to fall asleep at any minute, which Dean would’ve encouraged wholeheartedly even if it meant spending good old-fashioned quality time with the devil’s namesake.

“You look ready to drop, why don’t you catch some zs?”

Sam shook his head, even as he yawned hugely.

“No, no. I can’t. You just got here and besides…” he trailed off, obviously hiding something.

“Sammy’s been having nightmares.” Lucifer cut in helpfully, adding a tongue pop for effect.

Dean glanced over at the other man, who was still engrossed in his copy of Busty Asian Beauties. 

“Is he right, Sam?” he asked inquiringly, turning away from the rather disturbing sight that was Lucifer.

Sam shot his roommate a dirty look.

“Yeah, but only a few-”

“Every time he tries to sleep.” Lucifer said irritably.

Sam gave him another cross look, but he seemed unfazed. A little amused, even.

“Fine.” Sam snapped, “What he said.”

“What are they on?” Dean asked, sinking onto the bed next to his brother.

“Jess. I go to see her and there she is...burning to death on the ceiling. It sounds ridiculous, I know. And random. She was asleep on the couch when it...happened.” Sam swallowed, his adam’s apple bobbing, “The worst part is, in the dreams, I feel like it’s my fault.”

Dean shook his head, “Of course it’s not your fault. Faulty wiring, remember, Sam? Jess even told you that the lights were acting weird. No one could have guessed.”

“I should have been there all the same.” Sam dropped his head in his hands and groaned, “We were planning for me to move in next week, Dean! Next week! She was just getting everything ready, setting up the furniture and all that. Jess-Jess knew I was tired from my exams and she said, ‘Go home, sleep. I’ve got this.’ And I did! Why did I?” he looked up at Dean, as though expecting an answer.

Dean’s mouth tried to form words of comfort, but nothing came out. Eventually, he sighed.

“Sammy, you did it because she wanted you to. There’s nothing you can do to change what happened, and she wouldn’t have wanted you to beat yourself up about this. Trust me, man.”

Sam stared at his brother for a minute, as though he was trying to find some hidden secret in his features. The answers to all his troubles, maybe. After a bit, he nodded. Sam curled himself into the fetal position. It was kind of awkward with his long, gangly frame, but he managed. His older brother found a woven blanket on a chair by the window, and threw it over his brother as Sam’s eyes blinked closed.

“I was going to ask her to marry me.” Sam admitted in a hushed voice.

“Really?”

Sam nodded, “Shopping for rings and everything.”

His voice cracked again, and Dean wished he could hug him and put a band aid on his brother’s heart like he was a five years old again and had scraped his knee trying out the bike Mary had gotten him for his brithday. But Sam was grown now, and so was Dean. Besides, this went way beyond the mild kiss and hug method.

“It’s okay, Sammy. Go to sleep.”

Soon enough, his brother’s breathing became the short, soft breaths that Dean remembered from when they had shared a room as kids. He turned back to Lucifer, who was eyeing him with his eyebrow raised.

“So, Cas got any kinks?”


	23. It's The great Pumpkin, Sam Winchester

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Possible trigger warning for the mentioning of alcoholism. Thank you all so much for reading, and remember to not be afraid to leave comments if you have advice!!

Sam slept for the rest of the day, and late into the next. Dean couldn't see any reason to wake the poor guy. Mostly, he hung out with Lucifer. Castiel's brother wasn't actually so bad, once you got to know him. A conniving, stubborn, sarcastic son of a bitch, but Dean could appreciate those qualities.

They were playing poker, Lucy (as he almost insisted Dean call him) had turned in so many good hands Dean was sure he was cheating. In all fairness, so was Dean. Just not as well, obviously. On his bed, Sam groaned. His reluctantly opened his eyes, which soon widened when he saw his brother lounging around with his roommate.

"How long was I out?" he asked hoarsely, blinking in the sharp light of the afternoon.

Dean laid his hand on the table, causing Lucy to scowl. The man pushed a quarter of the chips over to Dean, which he accepted greedily.

"I don't know. Twenty three hours, maybe?"

Sam sat up quickly, any hint of lingering sleep immediately vanishing.

"Dean! It's Friday?! What time is it, I was supposed to meet the Moores for dinner so we could discuss...the ceremony."

Sam feel back against his pillows, massaging his temples with the tips of his fingers.

"You still have time, it's only three." Dean assured him, turning away from the card game.

Sam nodded, and began to roll of the bed.

"Whoa, whoa." Dean protested, "Where the hell do you think you're going?"

Sam gave him his best bitch face.

"To get a beer. I'm thirsty. Is that a problem?" he said witheringly.

Dean merely rolled his eyes, "How about no?"

"It's just one beer! I'm not an alcoholic!" Sam cried, throwing up his hands.

"Sam-"

"I'm not Dad, Dean." Sam said coldly.

Hurt and disappointment flooded his older brother's face, making Sam wince.

"I-I'm sorry."

Dean scowled, "Bad things happen to good people, Sammy. Dad had trouble after he lost his job, and then his sister died. We all tried to stop him from going down that road, Mom and I even saved a bit of money for a rehab clinic. He tried, too, and I'm not defending him or anything-"

Sam cut in, "That's exactly what you're doing, Dean."

Dean shook his head, "But it didn't work out. And I'm not letting you deal with loss the same way he did."

"It is just a beer."

"No."

Sam rolled his eyes, "Fine. Are you coming to dinner with me or what?"

Dean nodded and turned back to Lucifer, who had been watching the whole affair with interest. He leaned back in his chair, lifting the front legs off of the floor.  
"You're going to fall if you do that." Dean snapped, taking his winnings.

Lucy raised his hands innocently, and smirked at Dean.

"So what happened to your old man?" he asked.

"Died when Sammy was thirteen. Driving drunk."

Lucifer nodded sympathetically.

"Are you studying to be a lawyer?" Dean asked, changing the subject.

Also, he was just a little bit curious. I mean, Lucy The Lawyer? C'mon.

Lucifer smiled, and spread his hands proudly.

"I am indeed. Civil Litigation. You know, like suing people."

Dean nodded, admittedly amazed.

"Seriously? Once Cas and I get married there will be no escape from you lawyer types. Three of them in my immediately family." Dean shuddered.

Lucy stuck out his tongue in disgust.

"Ew. You're going to be my brother? Why have I not heard about the impending nuptials?"

"Long story. Kind of broke it off for awhile." Dean admitted, crossing his arms.

"Ah."

Sam came back into the room, hair wet from his hasty shower. He seemed more awake now, more like the Sam Dean was used to. Of course, his eyes told a different story.

"Hey, get changed into something decent. I want to get this dinner over with." Sam said, snapping his fingers as though it would get Dean to move any faster.

Dean fingered his shirt, the same one he had been wearing since his date with Cas.

"Yeah, that's probably a good idea."

Once Dean was changed, they left. He found, to his disgust, that Sam's car was a second hand Toyota Camry.

"Dude." Dean protested.

Sam raised an eyebrow in question, "What? I like my car."

Dean just shook his head, thinking that his brother truly was a lost cause.

The Moore home was just outside of Palo Alto. Sam told him that it was near the sight of the fire, just a few blocks away. When they passed the site, Sam kept his eyes on the road. His jaw was clenched.

Dean couldn't help but look, however. It was just a carcass of a house, now, black and unsalvageable. Pieces of the structure still stuck up from the ground, and Dean spared a thought to wonder when they planned to tear the wreckage down.

He didn't ask, of course.

Jessica's parents were surprised to see them so early, but they welcomed Sam and Dean anyways.

"Ah, so you're Sam's brother. It's good to meet you, I'm Joshua and this is my wife, Adeline."

Joshua was a kind faced man with a bushy mustache and thick, wire rimmed glasses. Adeline looked a lot like an older version of Jessica, but her curly hair was grey. It had brilliant streaks of white mixed into it, too.

They were led into the kitchen, where Adeline offered them a slice of pie. Dean perked up, but Sam stopped him before he could eagerly accept.

"We're fine, ma'am. Really."

She smiled at Sam, eyes soft, and patted his cheek.

"You're such a nice young man. I am so, so sorry you have to go through this pain."

Sam returned her smile, though it wasn't half a genuine.

"I'm not alone in it. If there's anything I can do for you two, anything at all, please just ask."

Both of them nodded, and the group sat down at the large, oak table.

"As you probably know, Jess wanted a small ceremony. Or, she would've. Never big on making a show of herself." Joshua sighed, and pinched the bridge of his nose.

His soulmate took his hand.

Dean couldn't help but notice that they fit perfectly together, of course. Joshua's hand all but covered Adeline's, but he held her softly, as though she were a precious artifact he was afraid of breaking.

"Daisies most definitely," Sam agreed, his voice jolting Dean out of his thoughts, "she loved them and they aren't hard to come by, either. Plus, they match pretty much anything."

Dean didn't add much to the conversation as it went on, but he made sure to speak every now and then to show that he was listening. They got the basics of the service planned, and just that took almost an hour. Adeline insisted they stay for dinner, but they tried to not talk about the funeral as they ate. Instead, the group discussed Sam's future plans for college (which he was being suspiciously quiet about) and all the good memories they had of Jessica.

If you asked him, Dean would've said that the whole trip seemed to make Sam feel a little bit better. Maybe it was the knowledge that he wasn't alone in his pain, or maybe it was just having something to do. In the end, the group decided that the funeral was to be held in eight days. After the food was devoured and Sam was finished washing dishes, as he had insisted on doing, they took their leave. The sun was almost done for the day, only a few lingering tendrils of pink left in the sky.

Dean wondered if Cas had watched the sun set in Lawrence. Nostalgia washed over him in waves as he remembered his first date with Castiel, where they had laid on the hood of the Impala and watched the stars.

They would have to do that again, sometime soon.

"Heya Sammy, what do you say we take your crap car for a drive?" Dean asked, voice soft.

Sam looked at his brother for a second before nodding.

They drove to the Palo Alto Demonstration Garden, parking the Camry on the curb. There weren't many visible stars in the sky when they arrived, but they didn't mind waiting. They both took of their jackets and used them as pillows for their heads. The night was warm, so the brother's didn't need them.

After some time, neither of them were keeping track, Sam punched his brother's arm. It was like the Punch Buggy game, but with stars. Whoever sees one first gets to hit the other.

"Where?" Dean asked, rubbing his now sore arm.

Sam pointed, "Right there."

It was a small star, but it was only the start. As soon as they saw the one, many more appeared each time the brother's blinked.

"Thanks for this, Dean." Sam said quietly.

"No problem." Dean murmured, eyes tracking the movement of the red dots that signaled a plane.

He wished Cas was on that plane, coming to see him. He missed his soulmate. Still, he had his brother and that was...that was great.


	24. Clip Show

It was a bad day for a funeral. The weather was perfect, but that was exactly it. In Dean’s mind, funerals were supposed to match the goers mood: rainy, cold, and morose. The blinding sunlight streaming down from the heavens just didn’t fit.

Sam felt the opposite, to Dean’s surprise.

“It’s exactly what she would’ve wanted,” the younger Winchester told him, “everyone can have a good time celebrating her life. Jess hated it when people cried.”

Sam actually smiled up at the sun as he said this, even though it made him squint so much his eyes were practically closed.

Dean put an arm around his brother's shoulders, “Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

They were sitting on a pink granite bench outside of the church where the funeral service was to take place. Dean still couldn’t wrap his head around the fact that it was almost Thanksgiving, and everything was still so...green in California. It made him kind of uncomfortable, having grown up in Kansas his whole life. 

They weren’t expecting anyone to arrive for another half hour, not even Jess’ parents. Joshua and Adeline had wanted to some help prepare for guests (it was cheaper to plan and decorate the funeral themselves than to hire someone) but the brothers had insisted they do it instead.

Beside Dean, Sam sighs softly.

“I miss her a lot, but for some reason...I’m okay. It feels wrong, but I feel like I can actually move on from this? Not from her, I’ll never forget or stop loving her, but I feel like I can keep living.” Sam swallowed, and looked down at his lap.

Dean was a little surprised by this declaration, but he didn’t question it. Instead he put his hand on Sam’s back, feeling it rise as he took a shaky breath.

“I’m not supposed to feel like this.” Sam said, his voice cracking, “I’m supposed to want to die or hurt myself or someone else. Angry! I’m supposed to not be able to get out of bed in the morning!” he grabbed tufts of his hair, pulling at it angrily and making it stick up, “So what’s wrong with me?”

“Nothing, Sam.” Dean soothed, feeling a little awkward. He was romantic with Cas, for sure, but that doesn’t mean he wasn’t rubbish at feelings, “Everyone takes grief differently. Jessica would’ve wanted you to go on, so I don’t see anything wrong with doing just that.”

He cleared his throat, looking around the church’s to-green land.

Sam nods, his eyes brimming with tears and his face flushed red. Dean pats his brother’s back again, and lets him sit in contemplation for awhile.

“You’re going to be okay, Sammy.” Dean says after while, ruffling his brother’s hair. Sam doesn’t even protest about how ‘Sammy is a chubby five year old’. Instead, he wraps his arms around his brother. It’s a little awkward, since they are both sitting down and with Sam being so much taller than Dean, but the sentiment is there and it works out okay. It’s Sam who untangles himself first. He stands up, and Dean knows his brother well enough not to follow as he makes his way into the graveyard. Sam’s in there for ten, maybe fifteen minutes but he comes back almost fully rejuvenated.

“It’s nice.” he says simply, bouncing on his the balls of his feet as he stands next to where Dean sits on the bench, “Real nice. She'll be fine here, even though I don't think she's actually here, you know? Anyways, I think I’m okay now.”

A tan Camry rolls into the parking lot not long after, and the Moore’s step out to greet them. After that the funeral goers arrive in waves, filling every available parking space on the church’s property. Luckily, it’s a big church.

When Sam sees this his eyes mist over just a little bit once more, and Dean pats his back in reassurance. They’re separated as they greet the guests, taking coats to throw in a pile and leading immediate family members to their seats up front.

Dean tries to focus on his job, but it’s hard when he can’t seem to force his eyes to stop scanning the crowd for Castiel. Almost everyone is seated by the time he meets up with Sam again, and his brother is no help.

“Have you seen Cas?” Dean murmured, tugging on the sleeve of Sam’s suit to get his attention.

“No, why? Isn’t he here yet?”

“I haven’t found him yet. Tell me if you see him.”

Dean helped the last of the stragglers to their seats, and walked to the front of the building, near the doors. They’re open to let the fresh air and natural light in, but Dean stands near them so he would be the first to see Cas.

He almost gave up, but then his phone rang. A few people shot him withering looks, but Dean figured he was fine since the pastor hadn’t actually started speaking yet. He hurried outside, phone to his ear.

“Cas? Where are you, man? The service is literally starting right now.”

“I know, I know!” Cas replies, sounding stressed, “But my plane was delayed for some bullshit reason.”

Wow. Dean figured Cas must be pretty harried, because he only swears when he’s really had enough of the world's, well, BS as he so eloquently stated.

“Where are you now?” Dean asked, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“The airport?” Cas said, sounding deflated. Dean sighed.

“It’s fine, don’t stress. The service will take long enough that you can come back for the coffin lowering part. Get a cab, the traffic might be shaky but don’t worry.” Dean thought about it for a moment, and added, “At the very least, after party. I just want to see you.” he admitted softly.

“Really?”

Dean laughs quietly, and looks back inside the church where the service had begun.

“Of course."

There's a little bit of yelling on Cas' end of the line, before Castiel finally comes back to say, "I brought Gabe. He really wanted to come and make sure Sam was alright. And to see California, no doubt."

Dean can hear Cas rolling his eyes, and grins.

"Yeah, that's fine. I have to get back inside now, though. I love you,”

“Love you too, Dean. Uber’s here, see you soon.”

The line went dead, and Dean pressed the end call button. It was to hot to be wearing a full suit. Dean wandered back into the church with his jacket slung over his shoulder, and was relieved when nobody made a fuss over him interrupting the ceremony. It leaned against the wall near the door, and scanned the crowd. There were few dry eyes, but everyone was smiling through their tears. It really was a celebration of Jess’ life, and Dean couldn’t think of a better way to be sent off.

When the pastor finished the crowd formed a line, the front row filing out first, then the second, and so on. Adeline and Joshua Moore lead the mass of people, and Dean sees Adeline press a dainty lilac handkerchief to her eyes. Her husband slid his arm around her waist, and Adeline smiled up at him gratefully.

‘If anything, it’s good that they have each other,’ Dean thinks as he completes the throng.


	25. Tall Tales

Jessica Lee Moore was laid to rest under the tallest tree in the graveyard. It's limbs cast shade for almost all of the guests as her coffin was lowered into the ground. Dean stood by his brother's side, trying not to think of being trapped in a coffin, buried alive and helpless. It made him want to throw up. Sam was stoic, almost peaceful, when his turn came to throw dirt into the grave. Dean saw his brother's lips move, but couldn't make out what he was saying. This was just as well: Sam needed privacy.

Dean wasn't sure if he should add his own handful. After all, he had only met Jessica in person once, almost a year ago. Sam saw him hesitating, and pushed him forward. Dean planned to just throw it in and move along, but he made the mistake of looking into the grave. He stilled, stomach clenching.

Jessica was in there. Sweet, funny, beautiful Jess, someone's daughter, everyone's friend, his brother's soulmate. A breeze picked up, ruffling his hair and blowing a few specks of dirt from his grip.

He could get really deep, in that moment. He could feel himself starting to think about life and death....what comes after death. It didn't take long, however, for Dean to realize that his brother was staring. As were others. He blushed deeply, and threw in his fistful.

"I'm sure I'll see you sooner rather than later, Jess." Dean said, clearing his throat.

He wandered back over to his brother, shoving his hands into his pockets.

"Everyone's going back to Adeline and Joshua's for a late lunch." Sam told his brother quietly, taking his jacket off and carrying it over his shoulder.

Dean nodded, "I'll text Cas to meet us there. It's still cool that they're coming, right?"

"'Course it is." Sam answered absentmindedly, "I already told them they were coming."

Dean took out his phone and delivered the text. Castiel immediately responded with a thumbs up and a bee.

The bee emoji was Cas' version of a heart. Dean smiled, and slid his phone back into his pocket.

They were at the back of the long string of cars, and it took almost as much time to park as it did to get to the Moore house. It felt more like a Fourth of July get together than a funeral party, but it was also pretty nice. Adeline set out pasta and potato salad, and most of the guests had brought their own food to add to the buffet. There was a table with a scrapbook full of pictures of Jess. Guests were signing their names and condolences to the family inside. There was even a card for Sam being passed around, though the younger Winchester didn't know it.

Dean was about to help himself to the food when he felt someone place a hand on his shoulder. He turned, and he swore his heart actually lifted in his chest.

"Cas!" he cried, hugging his soulmate. Dean buried his face in Castiel's shoulder, breathing in his watermelon scent. He laughed, and pulled away, "I missed you."

Castiel smiled, though he looked a tad bit confused.

"I missed you too, Dean. Where is Sam? I would like to say hi."

Dean took Cas' hand, "I'm not sure, but we'll find him. Take off your trenchcoat, you must be boiling."

Cas obliged, and set the jacket down on a nearby chair.

"Where's Gabe?" Dean asked, taking a moment to pray that Cas' trickster brother wasn't spiking the punch or some other prank. He was smarter than that, right?

Dean wasn't really sure he was.

Cas scanned the crowd for a moment, before pointing to the house. There, at the back door, was the small, blond man. He seemed to be looking for someone, too, so Dean waved. Gabe noticed, but didn't look satisfied.

Castiel's brother dodged through the crowd to the couple, taking his time and scanning the faces of everyone he passed.

When he finally got to them, Dean realized Gabe was touching his Locket.

"What's going on?" Dean asked, as bewildered as Gabe.

"I-I don't know. It's..." Gabe did a 360°, eyes soft and unfocused. It was an unsettling expression to see on his usually mischievous features.

"It's burning. Not strongly, but I _know_ they're here...somewhere...."

Dean put a hand on Gabe's shoulder to stop him from turning again.

"Stop. You're making me dizzy. What the hell is going on?" he demanded.

Gabe glared at him, annoyance clear as water in his gaze.

"My Locket is burning! Is that so hard to understand? Chuck!"

"That doesn't make any sense," Cas pointed out, "if they were near, your Locket should be burning so hot you could hardly touch it."

Gabe threw his hands into the air.

"Okay? And I'm supposed to know this _how_? I don't know what's happening, I just know that it's burning! Are you going to help me or not?"

Dean and Cas shared a short look, and Cas nodded. Gabe sighed with relief.

"What should we do?"

"Er...I guess move around the yard, try to find them? It should burn hotter when you're near them." Dean suggested.

"That's your plan?"

"It's a start." Dean said defensively.

They started to walk around the lawn, trying not to look suspicious, though they did get at least a half a dozen odd looks when Gabe stared to hard.

"Anything?" Dean asked after a while in a conspiratory whisper.

Gabe shook his head.

Dean sighed, squeezing Cas' hand.

"This is useless. I think you've creeped out pretty much anyone at this thing."

Cas glared at Dean, who responded with a confused, "What?"

Gabe's shoulders slumped in defeat, "You're right. Is there anything stronger than punch here? I need a drink."

They went into the house in search of relief from the heat. Dean could tell Cas was _not_ pleased with him at the moment. Sam was in the kitchen, sharing a package of beer with Joshua Moore. He nodded when he saw Dean, which turned into a grin when he spotted the Novak brothers.

"Hey! You guys made it."

Cas smiled, "Yes. Our plane was delayed, so we couldn't be here sooner. I'm very sorry, Sam, Joshua. If there's anything I can do, please let me know."

Joshua thanked Cas with a sad, lopsided smile, and offered him a beer. Castiel declined, but Dean accepted one. He sighed as he touched the cool bottle.

"Hey, Gabe, want one?"

Gabe was too busy staring at Sam, his whiskey-colored eyes wide.

"Is there something on my face?" Sam asked, confused.

Gabe swallowed, "No. It's just, uh..." he offered his hand to the younger Winchester, who took it after a moment's pause, "thanks for inviting us?"

Gabe dropped Sam's hand, and pulled on the back of Castiel's shirt as though that bit of fabric alone could be used to pull him out of the room. Castiel smiled apologetically, and followed Gabe as he fled from the room.

Dean's jaw dropped to the floor as he slowly realized what was happening.

"The universe can be so, so fucked." he murmered to himself as he stood, leaving his beer on the counter.

"Dean? What the hell was that?" Sam tried to laugh, but it was obviously forced.

"I'll be back." Dean answered simply, his thoughts racing as he left in search of Cas and Gabe.

He found them behind the woodshed. Gabe looked like he was having a panic attack. He was pacing, his breath coming in short, frantic gasps as his brother urged him to calm down.

Dean jogged over to them, unsure about what he was supposed to do.

"HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE!" Gabe shrieked, covering his face with his hands.

Dean and Castiel both visibly cringed, and Dean glanced over his shoulder, positive someone had heard.

"I don't know. No one knows how this soulmate shit works, Gabe."

"Yes, but have you ever heard of _this_ happening?" Gabe asked, shaking his necklace in Dean's face.

Dean took it from him, turning it over in his palm. Sure enough, _Sam Winchester_ was now etched into the silver heart.

"No one has two soulmates!" Gabe put a hand over his mouth, his eyes going even wider. Dean saw that Gabe's eyelashes were wet with tears, "Oh Gosh...I'm not his soulmate."

A burble of hysterical laughter escaped from the small man's lips, and soon he was bent over, his body racked with the awful mix of sobs and giggles.

Cas put his hand Gabe's arched back, "What do you mean?"

Gabe slowly straightened, rolling his shoulders and wiping away his tears with the back of his hand.

"I'm not his soulmate," he repeated, "his Locket wasn't burning. Mine was, but not his. I'm the universe's _fucking_ plaything!"

He threw his head back and glared at the sky. It was starting to get dark outside. The sun was almost set, but it wasn't complete night yet.

Cas put a hand on his brother's shoulder.

"It's going to be okay," he said in a raspy whisper.

Gabe nodded, and closed his eyes. He swayed for a second, before releasing a shaky sigh.

"I'm going to go talk to Sam." Dean said, turning to go.

Gabe's eyes shot open, "Stop! Don't say anything!"

"I'm not going to, at least, not about that."

Gabe nodded in relief, though his head was cocked with curiosity. Apparently, it was just something the Novaks did.

Dean made his way back to the kitchen, where his brother was standing at the window. People were beginning to leave the party, and Dean felt strangely nostalgic and tired as he watched the cars disappear down the road.

"What was wrong with Gabe?" Sam asked, absentmindedly tapping his fingers against the glass beer bottle.

"Nothing, he just was...nothing. He's Gabe." Dean cursed himself for the stupid response, but he wasn't very good at coming up with excuses when he was put on the spot, "Listen, this is going to sound weird, but can I see your necklace?"

Sam blinked, and turned to face his brother, "What?"

Dean held out his open hand, "Humor me."

Dean's brother unclasped the necklace and poured it into Dean's palm. Dean brought it up and held it in the dying light so he could examine it. He raised an eyebrow.

_Jessica Moore_ it read. And underneath that, _Gabriel Novak_.

"Well shit." Dean whispered.

Sam snatched the necklace back from his brother, curiosity piqued.

"What?" Sam laughed, "It's just like yours it's just got Jess'-"

The Locket dropped through Sam's fingers and onto the floor with a small bounce and a _clink_.

Sam was stiller than a statue or a corpse, and as white as the latter.

"I don't understand." he whispered, running his hand twitching like he was trying to bring it up so he could run it through his hair, but it wasn't complying to his will.

Dean didn't answer. A voice, from the doorway, answered for him.

"I don't either."

Gabe stepped into the room. Dean was shocked to see he was shaking.

"I-I'm sorry, Sam. I didn't mean for this to happen. I know I'm supposed to say that I'll leave but I don't want to. _I'mreallysorrybutthisishappeningandIthinkIreallydoloveyou._ " Gabe's words were rushed, hardly even understandable. He bit his palm, tears streaming from his eyes.

Sam seemed incapable of doing anything but becoming a museum piece.

Castiel appeared from behind Gabe, and made his way over to Dean's side. He grabbed Dean's hand, neither of them able to tear their eyes from the train crashing in front of them.

Actually, it was more like...a plane crashing into a train and then the train tumbling falling into the Grand Canyon and into a sinkhole, but a lot worse.

Sam's face crumpled, and, to the surprise of everyone in the universe, he opened his arms. Gabe took a hesitant step, and then pushed a chair out of the way so he could run into them. Both of them shook, both of them clung to each other like drowning men to a boat.

Dean looked over to Cas, and grabbed his other hand. Cas looked back at him in surprise.

"I know that it's been a rough patch but I really love you Cas and everything that's been happening this last week, with Jess and now this...I don't want to lose you."

Cas nodded, his blue eyes almost completely round with shock.

There was a lot of different types of surprise and shock running around that night.

"Will you please think about marrying me? Redo the whole engagement thing?" Dean pleaded.

Cas sighed in relief, as though he was actually expecting something different.

"Yes."

"Oh thank God." Dean breathed, folding Castiel into his arms.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! One: thank you so much OVER 2k HITS LIKE HOW??? Anyways, I've started a contest/celebration thing.  
> You can:
> 
> Q+A (like, ask me stuff)  
> don't know why you would want that but ayyy *finger guns*
> 
> Fanart 
> 
> -IDK everyone loves fanart especially about their own story I mean C'MON
> 
> Bonus Chapter THAT YOU WRITE
> 
> -Create your own story with the bonus chapter (I.E (is that the right use of I.E?) a date between Dean and Cas or SOMETHING) and I choose winners. If anyone enters I will create one of those sequal book things where the entries will be submitted.
> 
> Alternate Chapter 
> 
> -Choose your least favorite chapter (probably all of them tbh this story sucks) and rewrite what could've/should've/might've happened
> 
> If anyone actually cares (*cough, cough, no one*) send a link to your entry in the comments or to me somehow. You can suggest your own contest, too, and I'll add it to the list. No matter what, thank you all and I LOVE YOU AHHH  
> Also the chapters may be getting longer from now on. MAYBE. This one definitely did.  
> And I figured out the rich text think so there's actually italics. How exciting. Yes, I know I'm stupid.


	26. Born Under A Bad Sign

Gabe stayed behind in California with Sam. His brother tried to make him see reason, but Gabe all but refused to listen.

"What about your education? You'll never get a job without your degree!" Cas argued.

Gabe smirked, "Aw, Cassy! You're going to miss me! Don't worry, Dean will be good company." he winked at the elder Winchester, who scowled back fondly.

Gabe's expression grew soft for a minute, "Besides, I was failing all my classes. Wasn't going to make it to next semester." he put his hand on Castiel's shoulder, "I found my _soulmate._ You understand. I'll come back for the wedding."

 _The wedding._ Dean and Cas had dived into the planning as soon as their second try at an engagement was official.

"I want to get you now before I lose you," Dean told him as he took his own ring of it's chain around his neck, and put it back on his finger.

"You don't need to worry about that," Castiel promised, "I know how it feels to lose you and I don't want to go through that again."

Now, Dean pulled Sam into a hug. Sam was an awkward hugger, with his long, gangly limbs, but Dean didn't mind.

"Stay safe, Sammy." he whispered gruffly. The younger Winchester nodded, and they broke apart.

Dean took Cas' hand, and they went through the airport gate. When Cas glanced back, he saw Gabe take Sam's arm. The taller man smiled down at Gabe, and kissed the top of his blonde head.

Cas squeezed Dean's hand.

He slept on Dean's shoulder for most of the trip home. Dean tried not to have a panic attack. He _hated_ planes. On the way to California it hadn't been so bad, because he had so much on his mind he hardly noted that, oh yes, he was hurtling through the air in a flying machine of death. 

He wished he could get up and walk to the back of the plane, to stretch out his legs and get out some of his nervous energy, but he didn't want to disturb Castiel. He took Cas' hand, trying not to hold it too tight. Still, the plane hit a bit of turbulence and he jumped, squeezing Cas' hand. Dean's soul mate woke up in a daze.  

"W-What's happening? Is everything alright?" he asked with a yawn.

Dean brought their hands to his lips and kissed Cas' ring. 

"Sorry, just jumped a little bi-"

The plane rocked again, and Dean bit his lip as he held his panic down. 

Cas sat up straighter in his seat, "You're afraid of flying?"

"Planes crash." Dean scowled.

Castiel patted Dean's hand, "I understand. You'd be surprised how many people are afraid of flying. Just know that the chances are higher that you'll die driving the Impala then in a plane crash."

Dean smiled down at Cas, whose eyelids were still drooping with tiredness.

"Smart, sexy. How lucky am I?" he quipped.

Cas hummed in agreement, and brushed his head against Dean's shoulder as he tried to get comfortable. He fell back asleep almost immediately. Dean put his cheek on the top of his soulmate's head.

The rest of the plane ride wasn't so bad.

They got back early the next morning. Rather than going back to his own apartment, Cas stayed with Dean. They slipped into the dorm, careful to be quiet so they wouldn't wake Kevin. Even though he had slept the whole way over, Dean had to practically carry Cas to his bed.

"There you go," he murmured tucking the blankets around him. He slid in next to Castiel, who curled up next to Dean with his head resting on his chest.

They both drifted off into an easy sleep.

Dean awoke the next morning not to his alarm, but to the sound of his phone ringing. Cas was no longer next to him, but it still woke up a rather ticked off Kevin.

"Answer it!" he growled, covering his face with a pillow.

Dean dragged himself out of his bed and dug through his backpack.

"Hello? Who is this?"

"Dean!" it was Charlie, exuberant and very much awake despite the time, "You'll never believe it!"

Dean made his way out of the dorm and into the hallway so he wouldn't disturb Kevin.

"What is it?"

"I FOUND MY SOULMATE!" she screamed. Dean pulled the phone away from his ear, wincing.

"That's great! Who is she!"

Charlie sighed happily. Dean smiled at that. Charlie was like a sister to him-she deserved a happy ending.

"Her name is Gilda. She's so perfect, it's like a fairy tale! She's got these brown curls, like, golden brown, and she looks so great in pink. She's great a-"

Charlie was cut off as someone took the phone from her. Dean waited as the protesting on the other line subsided.

"Hello, Dean." 

"Cas? What are you doing there?" Dean asked, surprised.

"Charlie called me. I didn't want to wake you, so I came over by myself."

Dean was already on his way down the hall, his phone tucked between his ear and shoulder.

"You didn't have to do that," he said softly, "but I'm coming over now. I'll be there in fifteen minutes, okay?"

 


	27. Carry On My Wayward Son

"I'll be there in fifteen minutes, I swear!" Dean yelled into his cellphone. He cursed as he fumbled with his keys, dropping them into his lap. 

"Hurry!" Cas urged. The line went dead, and Dean threw his phone into the passenger seat.

He grabbed his keys and all but shoved them into the ignition The Impala's engine purred as it turned over, and familiar relief flooded through Dean. It was immediately quelched, of course, as he remembered what he was rushing out of work _for._

" _C'mon,_ baby, don't fail me now..." he murmured, pressing down on the pedal. The car shot forward, tires squealing on the pavement. 

Sixteen minutes and three missed stoplights later, Dean rushed into the hospital. The nurse at the desk saw him frantically looking about, and walked towards him.

"Sir? Can I help you?" she asked calmly.

Dean ran a hand through his hair, "Maternity ward? I need to get there, my friend-my baby-" he took a deep, panicked breath. The nurse put a comforting hand on his arm.

"Breath. Follow me,"

He did, down the hall three doors down. Cas met him at the door, pulling Dean into the tightest and most welcome hug he'd ever received in his life. Castiel's eyes were shining with tears.

"H-hey, Dean! Aren't you here to see-see me?" Charlie gasped, trying to catch her breath, "I'm having your b-baby here!" She grimaced, and her soulmate, Gilda, wiped her brow with a damp cloth.

Charlie smiled at her, face shining with love and devotion. Both of which immediately dissolved into a grimace of pain.

She gasped, and Dean raced to her side. He took her free hand (Gilda was holding her other one) and tried to come up with something comforting to say. He couldn't find the words, so he kissed her brow.

"You're doing great, kiddo."

Charlie grinned.

A second nurse appeared, and tried to usher Castiel and Gilda away.

"I'm sorry, sir, but only the mother and the soulmate." she said apologetically.

Gilda raised her hand, " _I'm_  here soulmate."

"Yes and it's our child!" Cas protested, taking Dean's hand, "I will not leave. I refuse."

The nurse's' mouth dropped in surprise, and she seemed to flail for a bit. Finally, she regained her composure. With a smile, she acknowledge them all.

"Well, this baby is being born. I guess we can make a party out of it."

Claire Gilda Winchester (they had wanted to name her after Charlie, but she had insisted they name her after Gilda instead, since she had been so supportive and "Well, absolutely perfect and awesome!" about the whole thing) was born December 3, 2009 in Lawrence, Kansas. 

"She's perfect." Dean breathed as Cas took Claire from Charlie, holding her for the first time. He ran a finger on his daughter's cheek, and wiped away one of her tears as she began to cry. Her little cheeks were soft and pink.

Gilda took her soulmate's hand and smiled down at her proudly. Dean put his hand on Charlie's shoulder.

"Thank you so much, kiddo."

Charlie nodded, absolutely exhausted from the whole ordeal (can you blame her?).

There was a knock on the door, and Kevin poked his head inside. 

"I heard there was a party?" he said with a grin. He was at Cas' side, and began to fawn over Claire almost immediately. Channing entered after him, rolling her eyes.

"He loves kids. When we have some they'll be spoiled rotten."

Dean raised his eyebrow, "Oh? Are you planning to?"

Channing blushed, but she was saved from having to find an answer when Sam and Gabe entered the room. 

"I have  niece, where is she?" Gabe said, clapping his hands. Sam grinned.

Dean pointed to Cas, who had been silent for a while besides his incomprehensible murmuring. 

Gabe rushed over, but Sam stayed so he could hug Dean.

"Congratulations."

Dean grinned, "Yeah. I couldn't be happier."

Castiel cocked his head in Dean's direction, flashing him a smile. Dean's favorite smile in the world.

"Neither could I." he admitted quietly. 

**Finish**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks so much for reading you guys!!!  
> come yell at me on my tumblr, if you want: https://gaymemesrus.tumblr.com/


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